We asked, and the males in our lives answered. Keep reading for twenty-five “secrets” about the way men think about us, sex, friendships, relationships, and the one thing a man will do for you to prove he’s a keeper.
“Men don’t really care if you’re skinny, just right, or have a few extra pounds. If we’re still having sex with you, it means we’re perfectly content with the way you are.”—William, 32
“We know you hate parts of your body and we know which parts they are. But don’t worry—if we are with you, they are parts about you that we love ... partially because we are the only ones who get to know about them.”—Joel, 27
“The absolute greatest way to wake up is with the gentle touch of your hand on our stuff.”—Joel, 27
“Men would rather a woman initiate sex; it’s much hotter.”—Carmine, 28
“We really, really like hand jobs.”—Peter, 29
“Blow jobs shouldn’t always lead to sex. Also, if you don’t like doing the oral, think of it this way: The better you are, the less time it will take.”—Todd
“There’s no such thing as “too much attention” to our balls during sex.”—Dan, 29
“We know that hot women do not always equal hot sex ... we also know that hot women, for the most part, do not equal blissfully happy relationships ... but we still want to hook up with them to have bragging rights with our male friends.”—Wes, 32
“Sometimes, we’d like to be on the inside of the spoon.”—Hank, 34
“Most of us would choose brains over boobs any day.”—Scott, 26
“Keep the sleeping around down to a minimum. Would you want to date us if we have a list that suggests we love chasing more than looking for love?”—Austin, 29
“No matter how hot you are, if you smoke and we don’t, it’s a deal-breaker ... because we will never kiss you. EVER.”—Wes, 32
“It is an instinct for us to look at women. It is hard to control that, so maybe she needs to be satisfied that all we are doing is looking.”—Patrick, 52
“Nothing looks hotter than you in a jersey from our favorite team.”—Kevin, 35
“If we’re too far away to touch you but can smell your perfume, you’re wearing too much perfume.”—Ky, 34
“We hate how long it takes you to get ready. But dammit, we love how you look when you’re done.”—Steve, 31
“We think you’re cute when you wear baseball hats.”—Todd
“It never crosses a guy’s mind to check if you’re wearing a wedding ring. And even if it did, he’ll hit on you anyway.”—Andrew, 40
“We think heels with jeans work for the same reason Chucks with sundresses do—we want to know that you’re laid-back but still girly.”—Ky, 34
“No matter what we say or how often we agree to do it, walking your tiny dog while he wears a sweater kills a little bit of our soul each time we do it.”—Dan, 29
“A man who will buy you tampons and super absorbent pads is a keeper.”—Kevin, 31
“As much as you need to feel desirable, we need to feel useful.”—Dan, 29
“Encourage us to spend time with our friends, especially the ones who repulse you with their vulgar, insensitive, drunken hilariousness; this allows us to get the masculinity out of our system so we don’t repulse you with it.”—Marty, 28
“The best friend you can ever make is my mother. When the two of you are on the same page, I stand no chance—you will both get your way.”—Dan, 29
“If you know we are going to call and you don’t answer—you can cause us a ton of anxiety.”—Joel, 27
