Our body language exhibits far more information about how we feel than it’s possible to articulate verbally. All of the physical gestures we make are subconsciously interpreted by others. This can work for or against us depending on the kind of body language we use. Some gestures project a very positive message, while others do nothing but set a negative tone.
Most people are totally oblivious to their own body language
, so the discipline of controlling these gestures can be quite challenging. Many of them are reflexive in nature, automatically matching up to what our minds are thinking at any given moment. Nevertheless, with the right information and a little practice, we can train ourselves to overcome most of our negative body language habits, such as this list of twenty-five.
1. Holding Objects in Front of Your Body: A coffee cup, notebook, handbag, etc. Holding objects in front of your body indicates shyness and resistance, and conveys that you’re hiding behind the objects in an effort to separate yourself from others. Instead of carrying objects in front of you, carry them at your side whenever possible.
2. Checking the Time or Inspecting Your Fingernails: A strong sign of boredom. Never glance at the time when you’re speaking with someone. Likewise, completely avoid the act of inspecting your fingernails.
3. Picking Lint off Your Clothes: If you pick lint off your clothes during a conversation, especially in conjunction with looking downward, most people will assume that you disapprove of their ideas and/or feel uneasy about giving them an honest opinion. Leave the lint alone!
4. Stroking Your Chin While Looking at Someone: “I’m judging you!” People frequently stroke their chin during the decision-making process. If you look at someone while you’re stroking your chin, they may assume that you’re making a judgmental decision about them.
5. Narrowing Your Eyes: If you want to give someone the impression that you don’t like them (or their ideas), narrow your eyes while looking at them. It immediately places a scowling expression on your face. A slight narrowing of the eyes is an instinctual, universal expression of anger across various species in the animal kingdom (think about the angry expressions of tigers, dogs, etc.). Some people make the mistake of narrowing their eyes during a conversation as a reflex of thinking. Don’t send people the wrong message … don’t narrow your eyes.
6. Standing Too Close: This just makes people feel uncomfortable. Most people consider the four square feet of space immediately surrounding their body their personal space. Cross this invisible boundary with good friends and intimate mates only.
7. Looking Down While in the Presence of Others: Usually indicates disinterest. Sometimes it’s even interpreted as a casual sign of arrogance. Always look straight ahead and make eye contact when you see someone you know.
