Let’s face it. Dating is a lot of work. I decided to go on every date with one exception—I would enjoy my time out, some way or another. I decided to try the online route to love. All in all, I did online dating for just over three years. The first date/meeting was always at Starbucks. It’s safe, it has nice chairs to sit and talk and if it didn’t work out, I was only stuck for the amount of time it took me to drink my coffee. If it went really well, we’d go for a walk around the marina area by my favorite Starbucks. Ok. Good vibes. Seems like a nice guy. What now?
Dinner out on a second date is a ‘double dog dare’ with life that either I’m going to spill my food down the front of my top, trip in my heels, or something even more embarrassing. Going to a movie is fun, but you can’t get to know each other very well in a situation where people are shushing you.
Three years ago, I met Mark on an online site. I hadn’t met anyone for months that were worth the effort of shaving my legs for, so I was about to give up for a while. We talked online for a few weeks and finally Mark invited me to an Oakland A’s game. At the time, I liked baseball, but I had only gone to a couple pro games. Sports had been something that I put on the TV when I was doing other things. My son had been in Little League for years so I knew the rules. Even though I’m a SF Giants fan, I accepted. We picked a time and place to meet. It is so much more exciting going to a game than watching one on TV.
Sports events are great for beginning relationship dates. You can take public transportation most of the time, so you are not forced into the instant trust of getting into a strangers’ car. Ticket prices are usually reasonable, so you don’t feel uncomfortable or have “date guilt” that you owe them something because they spent so much money on you. You are surrounded by crowds of people. And the best part about going to a live game is that there is an energy in the crowd that makes the experience magic, even if you are not really “into” sports. I was able to wear casual clothes (even though I made sure the hair, makeup, and clothes played up my best features). If you don’t know what to talk about, watch the game. Guys like it if you ask them questions about the game or about players just as much as having a real discussion about the game and the teams if you are ‘up’ on the sport. It’s a win-win situation. The atmosphere takes the edge of the nerves on both sides. It’s just more relaxed and fun. I’ve primarily gone to baseball games, but hockey would be fun. Football (if you can get good seats) would be great. I bet soccer games would be fun also.
On this date, Mark and I ended up talking thru the entire game (and shared an order of chicken tenders and garlic fries). After the game, we walked to public transportation together. Even though we were going opposite directions, we were able to wait together. I wanted to kiss him because we hit it off so well. But going on public transportation allowed me to move slower and I gave him a kiss on the cheek when his train came. The next Saturday we went to Starbucks (and a walk around the marina).
Sports are not necessarily a time for male bonding. They are also a great opportunity for some fun romance. We are entering the “sports trifecta”—baseball is winding down, football is starting up, and hockey is gearing up. I’ve suggested this to friends and every single one of them have had a great time. This year I found myself either watching every Giants game or following the stats on TV. I went to a couple of Giants games at AT&T this year. I used to be the person that ran to the concession stands for others. Now people are going for me. I cheer for the Giants so much, I have a sore throat for two days after a game. I now I find that I’m even yelling at the TV during games. Who knew?
And just for the record, Mark and I celebrate the anniversary of our first date by going to an Oakland A’s game every year. This August we went to see the A’s for the third annual time.
By Nina Eusebio for FemmeFan
