I used to have strict rules about who I dated; I actually had a list. A man had to meet ninety-nine criteria: countless attributes, physical characteristics, and of course, none of my deal-breakers. This all changed when I met, who I will refer to as “Ivy League” (he attended an Ivy League school). I broke my rules for him.
Requirement 3: Must have dark, curly locks.
Ivy League has a mass of fine, blonde hair. I have never been attracted to a blond, so I don’t look twice at them. But, when my girl friend and I walked into a local brewery, I did a double take on Ivy League. My first thought was, why is such a hottie working here? I wasn’t thinking about his hair or blue eyes—until much later—which brings me to another requirement.
Requirement 5: Must have brown eyes.
As mentioned above, Ivy League has blue eyes. So do I, and therefore I’ve always wanted to gaze into something a little different. But, after staring into Ivy League’s set of blues, I decided blue is the other brown.
Clearly, physical characteristics were important to me; however personality traits and lifestyle even more so. I’ve always been a big believer in the “old school” way of dating (i.e., the man is the hunter).
Requirement 18: Must pursue me.
While sitting at the bar that night, Ivy League chatted up me and my friend. I didn’t see him again until the following weekend—my friend coerced me into returning to the brewery. I felt awkward going back because Ivy League hadn’t pursued me the first time. I reminded my friend of the book, He’s Just Not That Into You. If he really liked me, he would have asked for my number. She scoffed and insisted it was because The Scorpion (creepy guy), sitting next to me, had given me his. To my credit, I left the number on the bar.
“If I give you my number, are you going to give it away?” Ivy League asked this time. Nice, he had a sense of humor. This one was on my list (Requirement 2). We exchanged cards. I heard from Ivy League two days later.
Requirement 54: Must live alone.
After a first date of gelato and fluid conversation, I learned of Ivy League’s two roommates. I didn’t even choke on my gelato. I simply inquired. I wanted to make sure they weren’t ex-girlfriends or it wasn’t a bizarre situation like on Three’s Company. My sweet tooth and curiosity were satisfied after our date; both roommates were male colleagues. Speaking of colleagues …
Requirement 82: Must have a stable job.
Ivy League was working a few of jobs; he had just been laid off from his “real” job, but still went in every day. On the weekends, he bartended and during the week he coached a high school sports team. Not exactly stable, but incredibly admirable and sexy.
So I guess my point is, we can make all of the dating lists and demands we want, but in the end we might end up depriving ourselves of something great. It’s kind of like shopping. You know, when your friend pulls a dress off the rack and tells you to try it on. You take one look at it, and know it’s going to look absolutely hideous on you so you tell her “No.” But she insists—so just to appease her, you do it, along with the twenty-five other dresses you picked out. And of course, when it’s all said and done you end up buying the dress you thought would never work out.
