What a difference a week makes. We left you last week with Susan on Cloud Nine. There were several prospects: Mr. Computer (recent divorcee who took her to Wicked and Maestro’s), Mr. Irish (lives in Malibu and owns art gallery), and the never-been-married Mr. Corona del Mar. Susan was particularly psyched about the latter, as the duo had been on two great dates in her Santa Monica neighborhood. “It was just that unquantifiable connection between two people.”
The 42-year-old, pretty, blonde divorcee has been trying match.com for the past month. I just feel like taking control and making some effort to get what I want. I’ve been single for six years and I want marriage and possibly kids. I’m tired of waiting for Mr. Right to show up."
The physical trainer and Mr. Corona had shared a wonderful dinner on one date and then a meal, prepared by Susan, at her apartment, on another. Susan liked his sense of humor and the two bonded over their love of dogs. The only red flag was that Mr. Corona wanted to get physical....fast.
For their third date, he suggested she come to his “hood” in Corona del Mar. Susan arrived, as usual, looking great. “I was pretty decked out. Not totally dressed up or anything, but dressed in a cute outfit and feeling like we were going to go out and do something. I wasn’t looking for fancy, just fun.”
But that wasn’t what Mr. Corona, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, had in mind. “We hung out at his house. We had some pizza and then watched TV.” Susan wasn’t hrilled. “Look, that’s fine if that is your 9th date or you’ve been together for years. But we’d essentially just met and I was still in the romance phase. There was nothing romantic about this date.” During the evening, there were also some revelations. “He was not sophisticated enough for me. I like to go to the Opera on occasion and I love art, and those things were completely foreign to him. He had no interest whatsoever. And, he yelled at his dog. That is a total turn off.”
Then, Mr. Corona dropped the bomb. On previous dates, he’d told Susan he didn’t drink, that he’d just quit a few years back because he realized he was drinking to relieve job stress. He emphasized that he didn’t ever have a fully blown problem and that he might drink in the future. “He said it wasn't ever a real issue. He just stopped cold turkey, before it got to the problem stage.”
“When I asked him what he’d done that day, he casually mentioned going to an AA meeting. I was shocked because it meant he’d made a major misrepresentation to me. He went on to say he was nine years sober and proud of it , etc. That was a problem for me because he had not told the truth. And, honestly, as harsh as this sounds, I do not want to be with an alcoholic, at this stage in my life. I enjoy my wine and I want to be able to share that with the person I’m romantically involved with.”
From there, it was downhill. “He was all over me. His hands just kept touching my body and I didn’t like it. Look, I’m okay swapping spit on a third date, but that’s it. It was way too much.”
That disappointing date proved to be a catalyst. Susan will still go out again with Mr. Computer, who’s been out of town on business, but she’ll no longer pursue men on-line. “I am off match.com. I’ve realized it’s not for me. It takes too much time screening all the guys on the computer. But, the major negative is that there’s no trust factor. I prefer meeting people who have been personally recommended by a friend. The second minus is that is feels cheesy and weird. The guys seemed rushed, overly enthusiastic and aggressive. There’s nothing natural, organic or serendipitous about it. It takes away from the romance. I’m glad I did it, but I’m done.”
