A newly single girl that moves from Montana to Nashville, Tennessee, is asking for a world of change. From wide open spaces to a million plus population. From riding horseback to road rage. It was like learning another language!
But one thing Nashville does have that this Montana girl loves is SPORTS! Within the first month I called the universities and got their football schedules and was put on their mailing lists. At one school I gave the man (“Brad”) my name, address, phone number, and email address. Then he asked for my date of birth…odd…
About a week later, Brad called me…TO CHAT! I thought that was strange and told him I couldn’t talk but thanks anyway. Then he called again a few days later, but he was a little smarter this time; he started by telling me about an upcoming sports event. Then Brad told me he looked just like Brad Pitt. I told him I didn’t think Brad Pitt was all that good-looking, but he assured me HE was. It was obvious that he was pining for a date, but I wasn’t biting. (Twice bitten, you know, after Bring a Hooker to Dinner Man and Handjob Man.) Brad called a few more times over the next month to let me know about events and talk about his good looks but I quickly brushed him off. Then one Sunday my phone rang.
Brad: Hi! I’m in your neighborhood. I thought I’d drop by and say hi!
(Remember, I gave this loony toon my address when I signed up for sports events. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.)
Ang: Absolutely not, and that is entirely inappropriate.
Brad: Too late because I’m standing on your front porch.
I held my hand over the phone while my daughter Kate (who was nine at the time) and I ran to the door to make sure the deadbolt was in place. It was.
Kate: What will you do, Mom?
Ang: I don’t know. I’ll probably call the police.
Brad: Are you there? Hello? Open up! I promise you’ll like me. I’m gorgeous!
