April is Sexual Assault Month
Each month more than ten women of all ages and backgrounds contact our Adoption Center with the same experience—they have been victims of a date rape drug, and are now pregnant, with most women not knowing who got them pregnant. Just after spring break is a time when we see a peak in pregnancy? For many of these women a date rape drug was involved.
The U.S. Census suggests that there may be 32,101 annual rape-related pregnancies among American women, over the age of eighteen. The adult pregnancy rate associated with rape is estimated to be 4.7 percent.
Several college aged women have reported waking up in frat houses or apartments with no clothing on. They find themselves in strange surroundings with unknown people and having been sexually assaulted while under the influence of a date rape drug. Just recently, our eighteen year old daughter shared her plans to celebrate her graduation with some girl friends in Cancun. I was concerned with their safety, but still wanting them to enjoy themselves so I was prompted to ask her—do you and your friends know what rape drugs are and how they are used? Surprising she had heard very little on the topic. Most of the women who call us don’t know either and wish someone had shared the following information.
Rohypnol is becoming the drug of choice for would-be rapists. Most all predators target unsuspecting victims by slipping these illicit drugs into their beverages at parties, bars, nightclubs, and dances. Rape drugs have the power to make one drink feel like six or more.
Laura, a sophomore from Florida, was one such victim. Laura who attended a private party, off campus, recalled that while she was dancing, she left her beer at a table, when she returned the perpetrator had already laced her drink. She only had one drink and started feeling kind of sick, then her memory got foggy, she started feeling drowsy, dizzy, and confused about where she was. “My roommate was going to come with me to the party, but at the last minute she made other plans. I decided to go alone, which was my first mistake.” Laura has no memory of what happened for the next eight hours.
Laura woke up in the back room at the club; with bruises on her thighs, half naked and suspected that someone may have had sex with her. Laura couldn’t remember who the person was or any other details. She was hung over for days afterward. Laura blocked the whole incident from her mind and allowed a numbness to take over her feelings. Her grades fell and she found her mind wandering in class. This is common for women that have been raped and can be used as a defense mechanism. Being overwhelmed with feelings or losing control are common reactions to what has happened to them. Other women may become anxious or depressed.
In Laura’s case, she discovered six weeks later she was pregnant. She dropped out of college to have the baby. Laura chose to have him adopted, by a childless couple, through our adoption center. “It was the only way I could make something good come out of something so bad. I needed to do something positive and it wasn’t the child’s fault.”
Laura recalls when she first found out she was pregnant, how angry and scared she was, “I wouldn’t have sex with a guy I didn’t know. I have always been so careful of what I do and who I date. I was just so mad at myself for not being more careful. I didn’t know if I had contracted a disease or HIV, it was very scary and embarrassing.”
Toni, a freshman in college in San Diego was a victim of the date rape drug. During spring break, she was assaulted at a party by a friend she met in a class. Toni had known him for almost a year. She kept saying, “I considered him one of my best friends. He acted like he would protect me. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it actually happened to me, even now. My body has been violated, my trust in him, as a friend, has been shaken and I feel betrayed … I keep saying to myself, I know him, and he’s not a terrible person—so it must have been something I said to him or did that got me into this mess. I don’t remember and I keep trying to remember what I did, or said—what happened that night—my own judgment has been stunned! I just couldn’t go through with an abortion, after what happened, as hard as the pregnancy was for me, I have always believed there are no mistakes and this baby didn’t cause this. Why should this child be the one that suffers? It took some time, but I chose a family that I knew would love this baby. When I started college I would have never dreamt something like this would happened to me! I have never regretted giving birth and giving her life. I still have trouble trusting people, but am working on it.”
