For almost two years, I dated a man who when I met him had been divorced for ten years. His relationship with his ex-wife was volatile and nasty and uncivilized. He seldom saw his children because she wouldn’t let him. I didn’t understand how two people divorced for so long could still be so bitter.
One year into our relationship, I met her. And overnight … everything changed.
She became nice. After years of what seems to be a senseless battle between enemies, they were now a “united team.” Errol was all of a sudden allowed to see his children. She invited him over for “family dinners.” She called about the kids constantly, and Errol, a father starved for a relationship with his sons, did whatever she wanted him to do.
I was glad that he was able to have a relationship with his children.
But the ex-wife was a different story …
Errol and I decided to move in together, and few months later, ex-wife convinced him to take a weekend trip with her to visit one of their sons who was away in school. You know, to show how “united” they are.
I said hell no.
Hell no, do you hear me?
No!
“She is trying to break us up,” I told Errol. “She sees me as a threat. She’s using the kids to control you. She knows that you will do whatever she wants in the name of “the family.” We are far more territorial than men. We’re calculating. We are manipulative. We’re creative and sneaky. We are capable of schemes that you guys can’t even imagine. Trust me. I know. It takes one to know one.”
“That’s nuts,” Errol said. “You’re reading too much into this. She’s just doing what’s best for the kids. Besides, I’ve never told you this, but I think she’s a lesbian.”
I wasn’t convinced. Isn’t that what men tell women to detract us away from their scent?
Ex-wife was holding the whip she knew how to use it. I was sexing the man. But she bore his children. And Errol was clueless.
“She wants me gone,” I insisted.
“Pepper, your jealously is unbecoming. You need to stop this,” he said.
I felt like a sane woman locked inside a mental ward screaming “I’m sane” and no one believed me.
In the end, I watched my man, drove off with his ex-wife for a long weekend together. As the car pulled away, she looked at me and smiled.
How many women would be okay with women going out of town for a long weekend with his ex-wife? How many men?
Not this Philly. I didn’t need this. Too much damn drama.
When Errol came back, I was gone.
Errol chased me for months, asking what the hell?
I don’t know if he ever got with his ex-wife.
I don’t know if she were in fact a lesbian.
I know this … that woman played a bitch’s game and won.
