DivineCaroline

When a Man Is Friends with His Exes

I recently went on a few dates with a guy whom I’d met at a party.

Everything about him looked good on paper: he’s my age, cute, professional, and responsible, no kids, a dog owner, legally divorced. He came with good credentials—it turns out that he’s a friend of a friend—and he’s a good communicator (at least by texting).

Although the chemistry wasn’t instant, our conversations seemed easy enough.

So, here’s my question:

This guy just bought a home, which he has been renovating like crazy. He called to let me know that he’s having a going away dinner party at his condo before he officially moves out.

I was touched that he’d invited me. But a few days later, he left a message saying that he’d like to chat with me about the party.

I called him back, and he explained that he wanted me to know who would be coming to the party.

To preface, he explained that he once invited a date to a party and his ex-wife was there too. He went onto to say that his date hadn’t been too pleased about spontaneously meeting his ex-wife.

Anyway, he told me that this will be a small, intimate dinner party of eight, with the following guests:

1. His ex-wife (they got divorced two years ago, and have remained close friends)

2. Two women whom he briefly dated in the past year

3. A couple of neighbors

4. A couple of guy friends

5. And me

“Fun!” I said, flippantly. “Your exes and I can all sit around telling stories about you!”

He didn’t laugh.

Honestly, I have no issue with a man who remains friends with his exes.

As long as his boundaries are clear, remaining friends with one’s exes can be gratifying. Anyway, you can do the math: half of the women at this party have been intimately connected to him at some point.

I’d love to know: Have you ever dated a man who remains friends with so many exes?

Or, maybe you’re the one who has remained close to your exes?

Originally published on SingleMomSeeking

First published April 2009
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http://www.divinecaroline.com/22070/70891-friends-exes