Eight Outdated Chivalrous Gestures

Blake Lively and Penn Badgley are definitely the cutest actors who’ve played a couple on TV that refuse to acknowledge they’re one in real life too. Luckily, Gossip Girls in training all around New York are constantly telling the tabs about their Blake/Penn sightings. Like last week, the two were spotted having brunch and smooching at Five Points restaurant. According to People, “The actor was very doting and even walked his girlfriend to the bathroom at the end of their meal. The two left the restaurant arm-in-arm.”

Um, back the truck up a second. He walked her to the bathroom? I’d never heard of this particular convention until last summer, when a date offered to do this. “Why would you walk me to the bathroom?” I asked. “Oh, I thought that was common courtesy,” he said. Sweet, but I’m a big girl. I can make it the 15 feet to the bathroom on my own. I’m not really interested in having you join me for the walk.

I’m all for opening doors and you giving me your jacket when I’m cold, but here are eight other supposedly gentlemanly moves we don’t understand. Though any effort is always appreciated, even if it’s a little weird.

  1. Ordering my meal for me. This has always struck me as bizarro, because chances are you don’t know what I want. The only time this is cool is if I have no idea how to pronounce something and you do.
  2. Letting me win at a game of Scrabble/pool/bowling when you are clearly better. No fun! Please give it your best shot. I want the satisfaction of really beating you.
  3. Using a code term for going to the bathroom. Especially retro words like “tinkle.” You can just say, “I’ll be back in a minute.” I’ll get it.
  4. Pulling out my chair. Someone told me this tradition started when women wore loads of crinolines and, thus, scooting in your chair was difficult. That’s no longer the case. It just makes me nervous that you won’t push it in at the right moment and I’ll land on the ground with a thud.
  5. Carrying my purse. Yeah, it’s heavy, but I’m pretty used to it at this point. You carrying it just looks funny. I have enough of a hard time with murses.
  6. Asking my dad for my hand in marriage. So outdated. Pops just shouldn’t be involved in our relationship. No one should know you want to marry them before they do.
  7. If you’re paying for dinner, not letting me put in for tip. Or get a round of drinks after. If I offer, it’s because I want to. I swear.
  8. Helping me put me coat on. This is sweet, but it’s always awkward because my hand misses the sleeve or gets stuck somewhere in there. It’s easier to just do it on my own.

Do you agree these things are awkward? Any strange chivalrous things that confuse you?

See Related Relationship Stories from TheFrisky.com:

Dating Don’ts: Why You’re Single
Dating Don’ts: How to Avoid Becoming That Annoying Coupled-Up Person

By Kate Torgovnick for TheFrisky.com

9 readers liked this story.
From Around the Web:
10.21.2009
Kristin Bennett
This stuff doesn't bother me...I was surprised and impressed my now husband spoke to my father about permission etc.
10.17.2009
Paper Diva
In most cases I agree, except for the last 3! I think it is sweet that a man would ask his hopefully soon to be father-in-law for his daughter's hand in marriage. It not only shows a close relationship, but also a sense of respect for her family. And if he's paying for dinner -- let him pay. You can pay next time. And no matter how much money I make, though I don't expect to have my dinner paid for, I do so love to be treated now and then! And as far as helping with the coat and pulling out the chair? Those are just nice gestures. Too often, we as women take feminism too far. It's a sign of kindness and respect!!! Get over it!
10.13.2009
Jeanne
I do like my guy to do some of these. I mean sometimes I do need help putting on my coat cause i have lots going on and i just can't find the stupid sleeve and I do like the idea of him asking my dad to marry me, except knowing my dad he'd tell the guy no... I do think calling pee 'tinkle' and walking me to the bathroom is creepy..
Ha! This is hilarious!! I find chivalry a little annoying (and fake) - the little things are nice, like opening doors etc. but ordering for someone?! That is way outta line!
10.09.2009
Jenny LaVelle
I can agree because I definitely am competitive and don't like it when a guy lets me win just because I am a girl, but I do think that if I was to get married my Dad would very much appreciate it if the guy would ask for my hand in marriage, this seems old school but is still a thoughtful gesture!
It feels good to write.

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