As my husband and I approach our first year anniversary, I am in a reflective mood as I think about the events that got us to this point. This is from a girl that had made up her mind years ago that there was no one out there I could fathom myself being with for all eternity.
I never dated much—or at all until I got to college. This was due to overprotective parents and me being very picky. I could tell if I could see myself with a guy within the first few minutes of meeting him. I encountered guys that were too short, too tall, too loud, too lazy, too conceited, too not into God, and the list goes on. I made up my mind that there was no point in looking for love and I was ok with being alone—I had been that way all my life so I was quite accustomed to it. How can you miss something you’ve never had? I always believe in a backup plan so I put in a prayer request to make a lifemate come to me if it were to happen. Looking around myself was a lost cause.
During my freshman year of college, I saw a relative sitting with some friends in the student center. I went over to speak and he introduced me to his friends and said something really embarrassing (at least to a shy gal like me!). I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me up because walking would not have been a quick enough escape! In the sea of laughter, one was not laughing. He said it was ok and that the comment was actually a good thing. I knew then that this guy was special.
His name was Bo (name changed to protect the innocent!). From that day on, we became friends. I was picky about friends like I was about potential boyfriends. I had more guy friends since most females irked me, so I didn’t think anything of it at first. He would tell me about his relationship problems and I would complain about the lame guys I dated. We hung out all the time and talked on the phone for hours. We thoughtt it was hilarious that some people thought we were dating.
We were friends, but we were so different. He was raised in a rougher part of town by a single parent while I grew up in a two-parent “Cosby Show”-style family. He lived a totally different life from the one that I had known. I could listen to him talk about his life for hours. He was probably sick of me asking! He was the life of the party while I preferred to be the wallflower. He was calm and I was a worrier. He liked spoiled cabbage and I preferred pizza. He spoke different languages and had street smarts and I had none of that!
We did have some things in common, such as God, music, how most people just don’t understand us, and a quirky sense of humor that only we seemed to appreciate.
I realized one day that if I were to have a person to spend eternity with, it would be a guy exactly like this. I realized that I couldn’t imagine life without Bo in it. He was my best friend and the only one I could trust. I am a very private person, but for some reason, it was so effortlessly easy to express myself to him. The big question was—did he feel the same?
Turns out he did! Despite our differences, we officially started dating after being friends for years. We thought it was a big deal, but our friends and family didn’t since they had already predicted our transition! We had some people try to discourage our relationship because we came from very different backgrounds, but we were strong enough to handle it. Soon after, we got engaged, then walked down the aisle!
