Bachelor and bachelorette parties have become synonymous with wild and reckless nights, the details of which are slightly obscured when describing it to significant others later. Movies like Bachelor Party and The Hangover paint the occasion as a shame-inducing free-for-all of alcohol and bawdiness, but it hasn’t always been that way. The origins of bachelor and bachelorette parties are remarkably tame when compared to the ones we know of today, so how did this once-low-key event get transformed into the craziest night of a groom- or bride-to-be’s life?
It Wasn’t Always an Excuse for Excess
Whether it’s called a stag party in Canada and the UK, a bachelor party in the U.S., or a buck’s party in Australia, the general idea behind celebrations for pre-grooms remains the same. A bachelor party marks the rite of passage a man takes from adolescence to becoming a family man. It’s thought to have originated in Sparta during the 5th century BC, when soldiers would get together the night before a fellow fighter’s wedding and toast him at a dinner. It didn’t involve strippers or a weekend trip to Las Vegas—at least, not that we know of. The dinner was simply a way to bond with friends and release some anxiety and nervousness before the wedding.
People aren’t exactly sure when the bachelor party transitioned, but according to an Oakland Tribune article, it may have happened during the late 1800s. Gentlemen of the Victorian period wanted a night to say goodbye to friends who might be too embarrassing to bring over to the house once the wives moved in. That’s not too different from what goes on today, except now the parties are more about having a final send-off for scandalous behavior rather than scandalous friends.
Time magazine lists a 1922 edition of a Scottish publication as the first time the term “bachelor party” was used in relation to a fun event. Since then, it has become the rowdy display of male bonding we know and love (or begrudgingly allow, as the case may be).
Women Fight for Their Right to Party
Bachelorette parties (or hen parties, as they’re also sometimes called) are mere babies compared to the beginnings of bachelor parties. Whereas the latter have Spartan roots, the ladies’ version came about during the 1960s. Before that, all women had were bridal showers, which were considered the female equivalent of bachelor parties. (Because receiving an engraved photo frame is somehow the same as partying all night in a hotel room.)
Brides-to-be didn’t need to sow any wild oats before the ceremony because society refused to acknowledge that women had any need for that sort of thing. It wasn’t until the sexual revolution of the 1960s that people’s minds changed about sexuality—female sexuality in particular—and women began demanding equal access to things, including the right to party heartily before their big day.
Bachelorette parties got their start as “personal showers,” during which close female friends would give the honoree gifts that she wouldn’t want to receive in front of relatives, such as lingerie. It wasn’t until the 1980s and 1990s that bachelorette parties acquired the reputation of being as wild as their male counterparts’. When researching the party’s origins, the author of Something Old, Something Bold couldn’t even find the term mentioned with advice on how to plan one in Bride’s magazine until 1995.
The bachelorette party recognizes the woman’s right to a last hurrah of sorts; women need a fun and worry-free reprieve from wedding jitters just as much as men do, and the changing mindsets of the 1960s were instrumental in making that acceptable.
The End of an Era
Regardless of their genesis or which gender is being honored, bachelor and bachelorette parties are a way to acknowledge the person exiting one stage of his or her life and entering a new one—one in which friends can no longer come first. The events might be thought of as a means of saying goodbye to one’s single life, but it has less to do with flings and more to do with strengthening friendship bonds. That’s why it’s becoming more common these days for couples to celebrate their platonic relationships with friends together rather than having separate parties—though the pop culture rendering of bachelor and bachelorette parties, with the questionable shenanigans and partaking of acts that would surely be deal breakers on any other night, might have something to do with that.
