Happily Ever After ... Someday ...

We all know the stories, a beautiful young woman meeting her Prince Charming, falling in love and living happily ever after. What these storytellers fail to mention is that you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your Prince and once you do, there are no guarantees that it will end in happily ever after. In most cases, it will end without the birds singing and wrapped in the pretty bow that we remember from Cinderella.

For me, having grown up knowing Disney’s princess movies word for word, the idea of finding my happily ever after has been a dream of mine ever since I was a little girl. Finding that perfect person to spend the rest of my life with, to grow old with and be my partner to dance through life with. I am lucky enough to have found a man that I can honestly say I love with all my heart and would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with. We’ve been together for almost four years and they have been a far cry from the fairytale that I remember from those movies of my childhood. He was a Prince who turned out to be a toad, but after several tries, eventually became the Prince of my dreams. Not perfect, and still has some toad-like behavior, but what guy doesn’t?

As I am sure many women can agree, finding that person, who can make your heart skip a beat, give you goose bumps when they touch you, and make you forget your problems with a simple hug, can be quite the challenge. I am fortunate enough to say that for me, I’ve found him. Now here comes the “but”… We’ve been together for almost four years, of which I have to admit almost a year and a half can be described as more of rough, turbulent seas than smooth sailing. And though we talk in great detail about marriage, our future, etc. we are not yet engaged.

Now, I am not one to offer an ultimatum, or to pressure a man to propose. I would never want someone to feel obligated or forced to marry me. I believe it should be something a man should be excited and want to do all on his own. Of course, there are several clichés that you should never “wait” for a man to make a decision. You shouldn’t be waiting for him to pick you, etc. But what if you’re not ready to leave? What if you are happy and want this to work out? How long do you wait before you say “I’m done”?

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10.26.2009
risac
These are my thoughts exactly! Good to know Im not the only one going through this. It seems like all around me I see my friends get together, get married, and have children in less time than Ive been with my current boyfriend. It's so easy to get caught up in the question "when is it my turn?", when really we just need to take a step back and be thankful for the things we do have today!
10.15.2009
Zoey
Hi Toritoy, To answer your question, yes. We talk about marriage quite often. The names of our kids, our wedding, etc. Is he commitment phobic? Yes, but he also wants to get married and have a family.
10.15.2009
Toritoy
Well i am just curious if he ever even mentions getting married someday? a lot of guys are commitment phobic and so what if your holding out for something that might not happen? I don't think there is anything wrong with letting him know how you feel. Why? because i a have been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years. I met him in a bar where i use to work, we both drink socially, and i remember him saying i wanna grow old with you. Well over the years i would engage him in conversations about marriage, and then one time he out of the blue said If you quit drinking I will marry you. I never in my life felt so insulted, not like my drinking hinders our relationship in any way shape or form. I think he should have made that decision before we decided i move my whole life 250 miles away. This has created a lot of resentment toward him. So now i just turn and say well i won't marry a man who puts these conditions on me. So we will just see what happens. Take me as i am or not!
09.24.2009
Roo
haha i read your article and it's funny.. i could have written this myself. i'm going through the same thing right now and it's always kind of strange to have a two-sided argument with yourself about typical expectations vs. reality. it's hard not to compare what you have to what other people have, but in the end.. you're right.. the journey's just as important as the destination. =)
09.23.2009
Zoey
Thanks Hope! If only following advice was as easy as giving it! I find I always have answers to other peoples' relationship "challenges", but when it comes to my own, I lose all sense or reason. My emotions take over and it's good bye to sanity! At least it is only temporary and you are so right - it definitely reaches its peak during that time of the month!
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