We all know the stories, a beautiful young woman meeting her Prince Charming, falling in love and living happily ever after. What these storytellers fail to mention is that you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your Prince and once you do, there are no guarantees that it will end in happily ever after. In most cases, it will end without the birds singing and wrapped in the pretty bow that we remember from Cinderella.
For me, having grown up knowing Disney’s princess movies word for word, the idea of finding my happily ever after has been a dream of mine ever since I was a little girl. Finding that perfect person to spend the rest of my life with, to grow old with and be my partner to dance through life with. I am lucky enough to have found a man that I can honestly say I love with all my heart and would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with. We’ve been together for almost four years and they have been a far cry from the fairytale that I remember from those movies of my childhood. He was a Prince who turned out to be a toad, but after several tries, eventually became the Prince of my dreams. Not perfect, and still has some toad-like behavior, but what guy doesn’t?
As I am sure many women can agree, finding that person, who can make your heart skip a beat, give you goose bumps when they touch you, and make you forget your problems with a simple hug, can be quite the challenge. I am fortunate enough to say that for me, I’ve found him. Now here comes the “but”… We’ve been together for almost four years, of which I have to admit almost a year and a half can be described as more of rough, turbulent seas than smooth sailing. And though we talk in great detail about marriage, our future, etc. we are not yet engaged.
Now, I am not one to offer an ultimatum, or to pressure a man to propose. I would never want someone to feel obligated or forced to marry me. I believe it should be something a man should be excited and want to do all on his own. Of course, there are several clichés that you should never “wait” for a man to make a decision. You shouldn’t be waiting for him to pick you, etc. But what if you’re not ready to leave? What if you are happy and want this to work out? How long do you wait before you say “I’m done”?
I am still young, I have a good job, I live on my own, I have my own life, and I enjoy having him in it. So what’s the rush? Why do I feel like there is a tiny clock ticking in the background and every once in a while the ticking gets louder and makes me think those “lovely” (insert sarcasm here) thoughts of “If he REALLY wanted to marry me, he would have proposed.” “If I was the one, he’d know it by now” which inevitably leads to: “What if I’m NOT the one?” Fun times, right?
As I look at my friends, some of whom got married and now have children, in that order, and others who did it in reverse, I find myself longing to have that part of my life begin. To create a home that is OURS, that we can create a life together in. For the most part, I am content with the way things are with us. We are happy, growing and learning how to be better partners in our relationship. Making each other laugh and at times, driving each other nuts, but no matter what, always loving each other. What more can I ask for?
At times, like today, I find it difficult not to focus on this next step of our relationship. I find my “girl brain”, affectionately called my hamster. Running on its wheel, over-analyzing every little thing. Wondering how our love story ends, and wondering when I will get my “Happily Ever After.”
Eventually, I pull the reigns and tell myself to calm down and just enjoy.... After all, isn’t life also about the journey, not just the destination?