Brides and their new Mothers-in-law often don’t get along in the beginning. This can be due to many reasons. It is however wise to try to build a relationship with your future husband’s mother before the wedding. Weddings can be stressful times, and by having a bad relationship with your new mother in law, can add a lot of stress to not only your wedding, but your marriage.
Your wedding is an exciting time in your life, but can be physically en emotionally exhausting as well. Most of us get along with our groom’s mother, but some are not that lucky. This is a time where even the bride and mother-in-law that do have a beautiful relationship end up in conflict.
So why is it a good idea to start this marriage conflict-free and involve both families in the planning?
Your wedding day is a celebration between the love of the bride and groom and their union together. This day is about both bride and groom and their families celebrating together. By leaving out the Groom’s family in the planning and executing of that special day, is the same as showing that the groom isn’t as important as the bride on that day.
Consider these tips, to avoid conflict with your new mother-in-law:
Tension between Bride and the Groom’s mom is very common and the reason for that is mainly because the groom is shifting his loyalty and commitment from her to his new wife. No matter how cruel this might sound, it is in a way the truth. For a long time, his mother might have been the most important female figure in his live. He followed her example, looked up to her and learned right from wrong from her. Things in the house were done her way. Now he has a new woman in his live with different views and ways of doing things taught by her mother. The groom’s mother might not agree with the way that the new woman in his live is doing things and this might cause conflict.
She might even believe that you will never live up to her standards or expectations and that you are not good enough for her son.
There is something that you, as the new woman in her son’s life, can do about this.
1) Resist the need to start a fight. Hurtful things might be said and this will only ruin the future relationship you might have with her. This will not prove her wrong and will only hurt your future husband.
2) Never put your groom in the position where he has to choose between you and his mother. Of course, he will choose you, but he wouldn’t want to say it in front of her. Remember that he still wants and needs to have a beautiful relationship with his mother, and this will only hurt him.
3) Show her that you do have a heart and care about her feelings and input in the wedding. Make an effort to be nice and get to know each other in a different way. No matter what, you both have one thing in common: You love the same man just as much. Be tactful when dealing with her. It is easier to politely thank her for her suggestions without actually agreeing to do what she wants you to do on your wedding. For instance, if she suggests an awful decoration for the wedding, thank her for the suggestion and that you would take it into consideration, and leave it at that. A lot can be achieved by just being polite.
4) Make appointments to spend some time together. Go out for a coffee or meet at a local gym or even visit a nursery together to discuss and buy a few plants or trees. This doesn’t have to take up your whole day, in fact the shorter the better. This will give you two the opportunity to discuss things other than the wedding or how to properly clean the shower. Also refrain from talking about future children and how to raise them. When you spend time together, be relaxed in her company, laugh a lot and be positive. Don’t sit there with an attitude and a frown on your face. This will only cause more tension and show that you two have nothing in common.
