This is a quote that holds completely true for my life: “Don’t settle for the one you can live with, Find the one you can’t live without.” I got into a relationship when I was seventeen with a guy I had known practically my whole life. His sister and I grew up being best friends and of course, most young girls have crushes on their girlfriends brothers. She was almost two years older than me and her brother was my age. We went through the normal tween drama of “I had a crush on him, but I was a girl and girls were gross” phase.
We got into our teens and we “went out” for a month when we were thirteen, but he dumped me. At thirteen, that was like the biggest tragedy I had encountered—aside from pets that had died. Dogs never learn not to get in front of the tires, and cats never realize sitting in the middle of the road makes the whole “nine lives” cliché very untrue. Anyways, yes it was a tragedy for like a week and then it was old news we ignored each other and went separate ways. When I spent the night with his sister, he would stay at a friends or with his dad. We got older yet again and he decided that maybe he really did like me, and since I had this huge crush on him when I was younger, I decided I liked him too still and went from there.
Of course, not too far into the relationship, I realized I had put this guy up on a pedestal he did not belong on and quickly found myself miserable, unhappy, and looking for a way to get out of the relationship. Now, of course I’m sure there are several people that will think to themselves, “How can you not get out of a relationship if you are not happy?”
Well, that’s easy, I settled. As miserable as I was, and knowing that somewhere out there was a guy that would love me and treat me like I wanted to be treated, I had come to the conclusion that I was also in a relationship that the people around me thought I was dumb for wanting out of. The main argument being that he was never around and so I didn’t really have to deal with him, and he had a good paying job. So for years, I put my feelings on the back burner, grasping at straws for evidence that I wasn’t wasting my time completely, but it never came. But I tried to make the people around me happy and I stayed. I convinced myself that everyone else was right and that I should just shut up and deal. Made myself believe that it was the best thing for me and that I wouldn’t find anyone that would take care of me like he did.
Then everything changed one summer. He and I had grown very far apart, and he was spending his time elsewhere and living at his brothers when he wasn’t traveling for his job. That to me was fine because I personally hated any time that I had to be under the same roof as him. I had come to the conclusion I hated the male race, and they weren’t worth my time that I would be better of living my life without a man around to bring me down. Then ball season started ... and this one guy caught my eye. Now I had no intentions on ever actually talking to him because my conclusion was men are worthless, but a series of events made our paths cross and a whirlwind of romance and emotions quickly followed.
Our sons played on opposite teams and he coached his son’s ball team. So once a week, I would be distracted when we played this team, frequently having to ask what I had missed in the game. No matter how much I tried to pay attention to the game, this nameless guy standing on the sidelines giving directions or words of encouragement to the kids on his team kept me looking on his end of the field and not our end.
