Relationships based on passion are often addictions that burn out in the light of time passing. Passion often begins a sexual relationship, but affection carries on for long term marriages. Hot sex can periodically be re-generated by creative affectionate partners. A new scene, a new way can bring out the old passion. For many people, the “friendship” basis is boring. They want to courtship to go on forever. But it can’t, in a day to day building of a married life.
The courtship phase is the chemistry phase of the relationship, during which time passion memories are collected to be recalled later, while doing the dishes or mowing the lawn. These memories are the mental basis for creative sexuality. A long-term marriage based on compatible friendship with good communication can revive the old courtship days when they are needed.
Passionate relationships burn out as the friendly familiarity takes over. Serial romances and marriages are between people who really don’t want a working, building, covenant marriage. They want a convenient relationship that doesn’t take a lot of work but is a lot of fun
You can regenerate “in love” feelings, especially if you are a woman who once felt “in love.” Your husband must re-court, re-marry, and recommit to cherishing you, so that you can re-bond to him sexually.
If the fire is gone from your sex life.
If the fire is gone for your sex life, one or both of you better get more creative about your sexual fantasies. Here are some things you can do:
- Surprise him or her with a picnic at work or a rendezvous call from a motel after work.
- Rent a limousine for a few hours and make love in it.
- Exchange apartments with another couple for an evening.
- Create delicious anticipatory anxiety by going out on a limb, and doing something that makes you nervous, like meeting him for dinner with nothing on under your coat, and making sure he knows it. The mind delights in naughtiness and no one is harmed.
- Read a romance novel together, or watch steamy TV or videos.
- Stop acting like adults. “Be as Little Children”—play.
- Use candles for a romantic atmosphere, bath together, swim nude, use incense, play music, give each other massages, try naked sun bathing at a nudists beach, with appropriate sun-block of course.
- Keep a dream book for each of you in which you put small medium and large adventures you fantasize. Small are a few hours, medium are an overnight or weekend, large are vacations of a week or more. Look into each other’s book or ideas on how to keep passion in your “rut” marriage. Use your playful side to live joyously.
- Write down your fantasies about sex play and exchange the lists or letters and write a response back about how you feel (feminine) and think (masculine) about each others fantasies and desires. Great guys deserve fun, with sexy, sensuous, wonderful women like you. And you deserve GREAT SEX.
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