This is not about sex or promoting promiscuous behavior. There is a stigma stained on lesbians that lesbians want every women they come in contact with, lesbians can’t commit and continue to sleep with their exes, lesbians are crazy with a lot of problems, and lesbians sleep around a lot. This is not all true—there are lesbian couples that are in serious monogamous relationships never cheat and don’t eyeball every woman in the world. Lesbians can fall in love and stay in love.
One key to this is staying focused on each other. Don’t let a day go by without showing love and affection. Every other day or weekend doesn’t have to be a club night; in fact, try to stay away from clubs in general unless it’s drama free, meaning going together and staying together. Do not give another woman the chance to approach either one of you and try not make your other half feel threatened. Don’t put her in a situation that makes her feel it’s possible someone will try to take you away. Women like to play the “make you jealous game” to get a reaction out of you for kicks, wanting to know how much you care. This little game can and will push her away, constantly bragging on how many women hit on you that day or how many women want you, even if this is not true and you say it to see if she gets jealous. It gets old after a while and shows that you are focused on other things that your relationship. You’re going to cause drama, so try to refrain from this.
Lesbians can have joyous, peaceful, meaningful relationships—what’s better than spending your life with her having more good times than bad? Make time for both of you, especially if one of you or both of you have kids. Having two mothers seems like a dream, an extra woman to help you with the kids. Two mothers are better than one, I must say, unlike a straight relationship where the woman does all the caring for the kids and the guy can’t understand why she is so exhausted because he wasn’t helping, so he can’t understand. Caring for children seems simple even though women know this is not true. Two women means both of you will be exhausted with the kids keep an organized schedule. Don’t just be concerned about yourself; she is helping you.
Also, as the two of you lay in bed, rub each other’s feet. You can never be too tired for affection. Remember it is not a one way street. If you are feminine and your girlfriend is butch/stud, do not treat her as if she is a man, thus doesn’t deserve to be pampered and spoiled because she is not feminine and might not like it just because she is not girly. Try not to disregard her feelings; in a fem/butch relationship, there is no “Okay, who is the man and who is the woman? Who does all the work? Who stays home and who works? Who earns the living? Who spoils who?” Both of you do these things for each other. Lesbian relationships are just as hard as straight ones with a few extra issues.
Love between two women is a beautiful thing. Nothing compares to it—the softness and warmth of her touch, seeing her gracious smile. The compassion and love of a woman is as strong as the strongest glue. When you make her feel appreciated and needed like she matters and everything she does matters to you, think of how amazing and solid a lesbian relationship will be by both of you doing these things to make it work; not one carrying the load more than the other. Women are extraordinary creatures, you know.
Lesbians have so many labels stamped on them and their relationships. It is unfortunate there are women who prey on other women resorting to gay relationships only to use another woman to do things they don’t want to do, either taking care of their kids, supporting them and other sad things—using another woman knowing women are caring and nurturing, looking to a woman because they can’t use a man or get help from a man. Stay away from those types of women; another woman can sense it the moment she comes across someone not looking for love but for a hand out.
