May is better sleep month! In honor of which, I have tips to help you and your partner to be more compatible in bed, and get the sleep you need.
A good night’s sleep is important to your health, and it is important to the health of your relationships, too. Face it, if you’re not sleeping well, you’re going to be harder to get along with. Many couples can live happily together; they just can’t sleep well side by side. A recent study shows that as many as 23 percent of married couples opt to sleep apart because of their mismatched sleep styles. But sleeping together is an important way for couples to feel connected and integrated with each other. If your partner’s sleep style has you headed for a separate room, we have some ideas that just might bring harmony back to the bedroom.
1. Problem: Your partner kicks in their sleep, waking you up.
Solution: Your bed might not be big enough. Many couples sleep in a double sized bed. That’s the same as each of you sleeping in a crib! That’s certainly not enough room for a comfortable night’s sleep. A king-sized bed gives you the room you need—you can spread out!
2. Problem: You like to be warm, your partner likes to be cool.
Solution: Temperature is a major issue in many relationships. Our response to temperatures is just the way we’re wired, we can’t help it. But there are a lot of adjustments we can make so that a person who craves heat and a person who craves cool can sleep side by side.
- Double folding the blankets so that there are more on one side.
- Dual control electric blanket, or a twin sized electric blanket on one side.
- Twin sized down comforter for one side at night. Put it horizontally at the end of the bed for style during the day.
- Air conditioning dries out the air, so is not good for sleep, but an overhead fan circulates the air, so it is more naturally cool and comfortable.
Solution: There are pillows that are designed to tilt the head properly so that you can breathe more easily and are less likely to snore. Try using Breathe-Right strips or Foam ear plugs.
4. Problem: Your partner tosses and turns.
Solution: Your mattress may be old and lumpy. Needs to be replaced every fifteen years. Also, may need to be turned and rotated. Some new mattresses have special pillow-tops that don’t need to be turned but they do need to be rotated.
5. Problem: Different sleep schedules.
Solution: We often hear that eight hours is what is needed for a good night’s sleep, but some people require less, and some require more. Try going to bed at the same time. Instead of being woken up with the clock radio, which could be some blaring news story, or crazy disk jockey, or commercial blaring, get an alarm that has gradual light going on—or that plays one of your favorite songs. Wake up gently, and let the other person sleep as they need to. If you work different schedules, and one needs to wake up while it’s dark, rather than turn on the lights, use a flashlight, or a nightlight. The other person could also wear a sleep mask.
6. Problem: The bedroom feels more like an office.
Solution: The bedroom really needs to be just for sleep and sex. Keep work out of the bedroom, and certainly out of the bed! Make an agreement: No laptops, no TV, even no books. This makes for a much more relaxing, and romantic atmosphere, and will give you both a better night’s sleep.
