So, that’s it. You’ve decided to move in together. You’re excited, in love, and ready to go for it. People are warning you that it’s a big deal, but you are different and so is your relationship. Is it such a big deal, though? Yes. After all, it’s like marriage without the standup mixer and the tax break.
The first few months of living together are a pivotal time in every couple’s relationship. All the usual skills required for success—listening, compromising, communicating—become ten times more important.
Get On the Same Page
You no longer need to pack an overnight bag and you’re going to be paying less in rent, which is awesome. But, if these are the biggest reasons for moving in together, think twice. Make sure you’re both on the same page about where you’re going. If you were tired of commuting to his place and he’s thinking marriage dry run, it’s going to come to a head at some point.
Let the Dust Settle
The first few weeks are blissful. The alarm clock sounds sweet because you get to roll over and see your honey. You’re excited to get your joint electric bill. But, just like everything else in life, your relationship is constantly changing. Why are you the only one who thinks to buy milk? You agreed that his showering first was fine until you started to get frostbite. Hold off on big decisions (hysterectomies, red bedrooms) until the dust settles.
Set House Rules
He’s your boyfriend, not just your roommate, so you guys don’t need to talk about the dishes, right? Wrong. From the beginning, designate responsibilities. No, you don’t need to have an actual chore chart, but once you both know expectations, you can meet them.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
If little things are bothering you—socks on the floor instead of the hamper, his leaving the water running while brushing his teeth—say something or learn to let it go. Being flexible is great if it comes naturally, but if not, speak up. Letting little things fester is only going to lead to a big blowout.
