I would want to see myself someday, walking in an aisle, wearing that long white gown and showing the world that I am closing a door of singleness, and having to wear a brand new name, your name. I would want to see myself one day, duplicating another me and another you, we will be walking them to school, and we will be teaching them all the virtues and all the wisdom that they must cultivate. But most of all, I would want to see myself someday, gray-haired and having to funky chicken dance with you on our silver anniversary.
While many wishes this fantasy to turn into reality, only few came through. Because life is never a fairytale that always ends well. Love, trust, faith, and respect must be sewn into a relationship. The two have to join forces to water the relationship, then later on, if grown well, will be able to reap what has been sowed. And my ever dearest love, this I hope we will do.
Yes, dissension is never absent in a relationship. Sometimes you hurt me, sometimes I hurt you, too. Well I guess that’s how love is. You are happy now. Sad later. Happy now, and sad later. A very normal cycle that revolves around each one of us. But the greatest thing that ever happened to me is to have known you, and learned to love you, though I am hurting sometimes. Because in loving you, I am moving. And when you are hurting me, I am learning.
What I mean is, a relationship is never perfect. There is always a flaw. But our relationship will be better I think, if the two of us are friends. Because it is always like this, on the first six months the relationship is so intense. But after a while, the intensity will fade away, but if the two of us are friends, and you tell me about your everyday’s feat, and I tell you mine, we will survive. And sometime in the future you will not love me the way you love me now, but if we stick together and stay friends, we will learn to patch things up.
Learning from each other and growing for the love, as the movie The Notebook says, is the best kind of love. “It awakens the soul and makes you reach for more. It plants a fire into your heart and brings peace to your mind.” And I guess it is not enough that you will make me your wife and we will copulate. Period. I think it is better if it is like this: You will make me your wife, we will copulate, we find pleasure out of our intimacy, and we try to give each other and our children the love and the care that we need.
I may not be the perfect lover for you, because I also nag and I am insensitive sometimes. But I would try to become near-perfect for you. I will feed you with so much love, and of course food. I will console your long day of work with a good massage while you are about to rest the day, and I will try my best to give you the best morning kiss. And in return, you have to do your equal part. Because love is not an emotion alone. It is a commitment to each other. The commitment to provide everything that both of us need. It is not enough that we are emotionally present. We have to be physically present, too.
But for now, since you are still away, and about to see me soon, let me just wait for you and say these words of love to you. Let me imagine some more of our future together and let me just learn to accept your past. Let me think of how beautiful you look and how kind your words are, to be inspired. It is your love what makes me richer in heart and in soul. Because your love nourishes my growth, and your love is my power to do better. Out of your love, I continue to battle adversities. Just let me love you now from a distance. Though only words reach you by now, I hope it will reach you through.
