Can First Impressions Be Deceiving?

the studies compiled in the book First Impressions, edited by Nalini Ambody and John Skowronski, suggests that we form a distinct impression within the first thirty seconds of meeting someone new. And yet these almost instantaneous reactions stay with us for a long time.

First impressions set a vicious cycle in motion. According to Max Weisbuch, a post-doctoral fellow in the psychology department at Tufts University, our first impression of someone colors our interpretations of that person’s ensuing behavior. This means that when there is ambiguity about the cause of a behavior, we choose to believe in what best agrees with our first impressions. For example, if we form an idea of someone as an aggressive person based on his facial expression upon meeting, we would attribute his talking loudly to anger rather than to a more benign reason, like his simply wanting to be heard over environmental noise. In turn, that raised voice becomes more “evidence” of our impression that the person is mean and aggressive. 

This is why first impressions last so long; we are constantly refueling them with new perceptions that have been affected by the original. Only if we can break the cycle of collecting prejudicial evidence—as my former boyfriend and I apparently did—can we form new impressions that may be closer to reality. 

Straighten That Tie, Suck in That Stomach
If you want to make a good first impression—on a potential employer, a date, your boyfriend’s parents, etc.—mama’s wisdom still holds to be true. Smile, clean behind your ears, and don’t slouch. You want to make sure you’re projecting positivity in order to make the other person feel that you are a safe (in the evolutionary sense) person with whom they can build a relationship. Hygiene and good manners are factors in that projection. 

Be warm and generous and work toward the other person’s comfort. If they’re happy, they’ll associate the feeling with you and keep coming back for more. Whether that means offering a comfortable seat, placing a reassuring hand on the person’s elbow when you say hello, or laughing at their jokes, do everything to project an aura of positivity about yourself. Dressing in warm colors, like golds and rich browns (avoid red, which reads as aggressive) and wearing clothes that fit you well also creates a sense of harmony and security. 

And just to be on the safe side, it never hurts to have a pot of freshly brewed hot coffee at hand.