Love: it’s something that we all crave. We are wired to not just want it but to need it for survival. The English language only has one word assigned to convey multiple meanings of love. We use “I love you” with family, friends, and with the person we are in a relationship with. That one phrase holds many different meanings depending on who you say it to.
It’s easy to understand what love for family means. The bond created by blood is intense and can never be broken. While sometimes you may not like your family and they may get on your nerves, you will always love them. It is, in most cases, unconditional.
It’s also easy to understand what love for friends means. This is a love that you choose to give. It is when you are so close with your friend you view them as if they are part of your family. You have an emotional connection with that person and you never see them not being part of your life.
But what does it mean when you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you love them? And more specifically, what does it mean to be in love? Clearly there is a difference between the two as we have all heard people say that they love someone but aren’t in love with them.
When I tell my boyfriend that I love him, it means that not only do I love him but I’m also in love with him. Here is my individual definition of what it means to me when I tell my boyfriend I love him.
He is consistently present in my thoughts.—No matter what I’m doing, he is always in the back of my mind. He is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night. When something funny happens, he is the first person I want to tell.
I don’t sleep as well if I’m not in the same bed as him.—The comfort of falling asleep next to him brings a calm and security that I don’t get on my own. And when I don’t fall asleep next to him or wake up next to him, I don’t sleep as well.
I can’t picture my life without him.—This is a big one. While this is also part of the definition of friendship love, it is a bit different when it comes to a boyfriend. If I can’t see myself walking down the aisle, raising kids, and growing old with a guy, then I’m not in love with him. But if I look at my life and feel like it would be incomplete without him, I am most definitely in love.
He is the first person I want to call if I need help or support.—If I’m having a bad day, the one place I want to be is in his arms. Or if I can’t figure out how to fix the leaky faucet on my own, I call him before I call the plumber. I want his support and help before I seek out someone else.
I value his happiness more than my own.—If he isn’t happy, then I can’t be happy. When I am willing to make huge sacrifices in my life in order to make him happy, then I am in love.
I want an emotional AND physical connection.—Not only do I want to be able to talk to my boyfriend as I would with a close friend, I want the physical closeness you don’t have with family and friends. Without passion, I can’t be in love with someone.
Home is where he is.—They say “home is where the heart is.” I totally agree with this. When I am in love, I could be anywhere in the world and as long as he is physically there with me, I feel like I am home.
