She’s falling for him and can’t figure out how this happened. It’s been almost two days since she’s gotten any word from him, but what’s she to expect? He’s camping with his wife and kids. What can she ever hope for in this?
Looking back to even just the past week, he wanted to see her as much as he could. He stopped over on the Sunday prior and texted her silly, flirty messages. He called to see her Wednesday and Thursday. Thursday evening was a road trip up north; she went with him to drop off the trailer for him. His wife and kids to camp in the very next day!
They did spend so much time together—and they made love in secluded forest, in the back seat of his truck! They were just like two teenage lovers sneaking away. Although this was different as it was the very truck his family would be riding in the very next day to head out on their trip. They made love again before he headed home that late Thursday night. What was it she thought ‘ midnight or so: when he left?
On one hand it was glorious to have him, to spend so much time with him. She savored his face, his kisses, and the gentle touch of his hands. They had conversations that made both of them think deeply and reflect, conversations which drew them closer, so she thought. Then the other side of her emotions tore her up—she was helping him for a trip with his wife …. The very woman he’s going to leave (someday).
He loves to tease her that she’s a drama queen; boy, that just sets her off! “Drama Queen? OHHHH nooo, I’m not!” and then she coughs out “asshole” and they both laugh. He tickles her … they are very playful. But now as she sits home watching the clock; he told her he’d be home about noon on Monday and it’s 1:47pm. Should she shower? She might miss his call. Should she send him an email? Should she expect to hear from him or just play it cool? She doesn’t want to do what makes her the drama queen he accuses her of being, but she always feels like the “other woman.” Hummm. yes, the other woman! That must be because she IS the other woman.
She believes him. Don’t all women believe their married lovers? She trusts him, even though his very actions with her are not trustworthy. He wants her to convince him she’s a dedicated Christian, like he is. She feels like she’s defending her beliefs against a man who talks the talk but his actions aren’t consistent with his words.
Oh, the warnings from her family, her friends—if they saw her now, they would be furious and all the while comforting her. She’s sitting on the couch curled up in her blanket, watching mindless TV and crying. Crying for him, how could he do this to her, she was different. Crying for herself, all these years of being particular; waiting for Mr. Right and this is who she chooses?
She is looking back at their first email—they met online, you know. Online, where everyone is whoever they want to be. This day, as she watches her phone, willing it to chime his particular ring, she went through the list of their online emails, trying to catch a blip. She was looking for that sign, that something that should have warned her of the impending despair, unhappiness, and disappointments she was in for. Oh, wait there it is! “So, your profile says you’re separated; I’m sorry to hear that, breakups are always sad regardless of the reason.” Yes! That was the sign! Her recognition of his “separation” and the turmoil that has just started or is about to start.
