When we opened the conversation about married moms who feel like single moms, the torrent of heart breaking tales from married woman doing double—and triple duty—shocked us. The lack of emotional support and no “extra set of hands” to help with the kids were a stark reminder that married carries no guarantees.
A recent comment on that post from a single mom caught our attention. (We’re on the record: Even if you’re married, you’re ALWAYS a single mom in your heart.)
Here’s what this newly married single mom told us:
Recently married for the second time, this mom has custodial custody of her kids. Their father has parenting time with them every other weekend. The rest of the time the parenting chores fall to her and her husband. Or at least that’s the way she feels it is supposed to work.
“I love my husband. And he claims to love me and the kids,” she told us sadly. “But, when it comes to my kids, it’s completely up to me.”
This newly married single mom told us that, if the kids need anything, it’s TOTALLY up to her. Her husband has no kids of his own. And both of them work full-time. No matter what the situation, it is her responsibility to take off work and deal with the kid crisis. Daily routines are also her responsibility. She’s always rushing home in traffic to pick up the kids. And he gets home before she does.
If she asks for help, her husband throws a fit. And she just wants to cry.
To make matters more complicated, this mom just got a new job. And this job requires her to leave town for a week for training. Her husband refuses to watch the kids while she’s away. Her husband insists that the kids stay with their father, even though that means they will miss school.
This newly married single mom is frustrated beyond the belief . She got married so she could have a partner in life. And not struggle to manage everything all by herself.
Frankly, we’re not sure how we feel about this situation.
So, we’re asking you to shine some light …
Do you believe that these kid responsibilities do belong exclusively to this married single mom?
Is this husband justified in NOT pitching in with her kids?
Or should this husband participate cooperatively in the daily parenting grind?
