The hardest thing about relationships is communicating. Communication is the one ingredient that must be present in order for a relationship to survive. Not just romantic relationships, but any kind of relationship. It doesn’t matter if it’s your mother, father, child, friend or lover … communication is the tie that binds.
I was born a talker. I can talk about anything to anybody. Friend or stranger makes no difference to me. Most people actually appreciate my conversations … everyone except my husband. My husband decided early on in our marriage that he only enjoys conversations that have nothing to do with our relationship, unless of course it is to discuss how much I love him.
I suppose my husband is like most men, not really a fan of verbal communication. I get it. I completely understand that men and women function differently. I have heard all about the Mars and Venus stuff. It doesn’t change the necessity of communication in a relationship. It doesn’t have to be excessive, but there are times when talking cannot be avoided.
It seems that any form of expression is viewed as a complaint in the eyes of my beloved. Any emotion, word, or gesture that does not equal absolute bliss is immediately dismissed. There are to be no conversations, sentences, or words; just silence. Until he decides that enough time has passed … and then we get to pretend nothing ever happened. We just pick up where we left off. After all, the only emotion allowed in this relationship is happiness. There will be no feelings of inadequacies. No expressions of disinterest. No feelings of angst. Any objections will be viewed as “relationship insubordination.”
How do you get through to a person that refuses to respond? How many tries are needed before you realize that it’s pointless? I have reached the end of my rope over and over again. I have tried therapy, human intimacy courses, and patience. I have tried talking, writing, and crying. I have tried negotiating, rationalizing, and screaming.
When is enough … really enough?