Dear Mike,
It’s been awhile, huh?
(Okay, you only left for work about three hours ago … but I wanted to start this letter like that because I felt it was all literary and shit so shut up.)
So, I was loading the dishwasher and thinking to myself about how you are so going to yell at me because I’m just shoving dishes in there and you think that there is a “right” way to load the dishes and according to you I only do it the “wrong” way.
But, you know what? There is NO RIGHT WAY TO LOAD THE DISHES INTO THE GOD DAMN DISHWASHER.
(Okay, that’s not completely true. I’m now picturing all of these ways that would obviously be the WRONG way to load the dishwasher. Like if I put the dishes in there face-down instead of in the little plate slots … or if I decided to put all of the dishes in with my feet … both are excellent examples of the WRONG way.)
(But I don’t do either … though I’m now looking forward to trying …)
There may be a more effective way to load it but the way I’m doing it isn’t hurting anybody, so you shouldn’t yell at me about it.
Now, I’m not going to be one of those women who say, “Just realize that I’m always right, honey, and your life will be a lot easier.”
Because, honestly, there will probably be PLENTY of times where I actually DO do something wrong.
Like, if I accidentally put our baby’s diaper on his head instead of his butt feel free to tell me that I am doing it wrong.
(If it’s NOT an accident, though, I expect you to laugh your ass off at my hilarious joke because I’ll probably be all crazy hormonal and will KILL you if you don’t.)
