I am not married. But my boyfriend and I have been together for about five years now. Which is a lot of cat, dog, and other animal years, and a lot of holidays, trips, and fights we’ve had together.
Add another one to the list (fight). This morning as I was de-briefing my boyfriend on this year’s Thanksgiving weekend plans, he stopped me with a grin on his face.
“Actually, I was thinking, maybe we could go up to Portland for Thanksgiving and see some of our friends?”
I stopped. In shock, I stared at his grinning mug. “Are you serious?”
We have had Thanksgiving at my Aunt Carol’s house every year since my boyfriend moved to L.A. and I assumed this year was no different. I look forward to her delectable dishes for 364 days. Add in the fact that the holiday is NEXT WEEK, and you can imagine my surprise to hear this sprung on me, all before I’ve had my morning coffee.
We usually get along and see eye-to-eye on many issues. For whatever reason, I could not get the man to understand why changing holiday plans a week in advance is not the most courteous, thoughtful, logical, or fun thing to do. I told him he was free to go to Portland on his own, but he would have to call my Aunt and explain it all to her. She had already bought the groceries, for crying out loud.
Somehow this holiday seemed very different to him than Christmas, which he begs me to attend with him every year, which he cherishes, where he gets to see all his siblings in one place, etc etc etc. Oh, but according to him, Thanksgiving is not a big deal, its NOTHING like Christmas. Besides, his family asks for me to come specifically, they want me there as much as they want him there, and it means a lot to them that I attend.
Exactly.
Plug in “Thanksgiving” for “Christmas” and “my family” for “his family” and you can see why women don’t have a hard time switching perspectives with others and feeling empathy. Apparently it doesn’t come as naturally to men.
The situation has yet to be resolved. We both left the house in a huff, and I thought for a split second about throwing the recycling bin at his car as he drove away. But I remained (slightly) civil. Instead, I began my work day, and immediately went on Gchat and told my girlfriends all about the situation.
“We’ve been there. He’ll come around.”
Thanks, girls.
