i have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months. he just had to moved back to his homestate 2 1/2 weeks ago. i didnt take the transition well at all. we went from living together to a long distance relationship. i understand that in moving back and seeing old friends and family he was busy, but suddenly there seemed to be no time for me. i have serious trust issues with guys (which he knows) because i have been neglected, mistreated, lied to and cheated on by almost every guy ive dated. so these issues came back up fiercely when i was suddenly feeling left out of his life and like i wasnt important anymore. i freaked out.
i knew the password to his email and i knew it wasnt right to check it but i couldnt help it. every time we talked on the phone he seemed like he was only half listening to me. and when we skyped he mostly watched tv while we talked, or should i say i talked. i keep asking him questions so i know whats gong on in his life and to keep the conversation going. he would get upset with me for asking so many questions and say he felt like i didnt trust him. i had gotten to where i felt like i was chasing him down ad i wanted to know what was wrong. checking his email was an uncontrollable urge to check it and make sure everything was fine and that he wasnt cheating on me. but then one time lead to twice and then became a regular thing. i know that it seems phyco and im ashamed that i did it but i truely couldnt help myself i was so worried and upset.
finally i got on one morning and i saw messages in the outbox that were a reply to a personal ad. i was histerical, i had to confront him. when i did at first he didnt know what i was talking about and them called me back and said his brother said he had done it as a joke not knowing i looked at his email. well now my boyfriend was upset at the invasion of his privacy. i understood him being upset and he had every right to be, especially when he saw how many times i had checked it. but them he got mean. hed call, yell at me then hang up. he would say aweful hateful things to me then when i tried to talk to me hed interrupt and yell and insult me and call me a liar. he wouldnt answer texts or calls unless he felt like saying something to me or to tell me how crazy i was. he deleted me and blocked me on facebook. he even said he didnt want to see me for new years. even though id already bout the tickets and his christmas gifts and new clothes. this had gone on for days when he finally started to relax and talk to me again yesterday. he said he had wanted me to come to see him the whole time and that he was just trying to punish me for what i had done. today was great untill i asked him why he hadnt changed his relationship status on facebook from single to in a relationship yet. he got upset and we got off line. i went to message him on facebook to find he had blocked me Again. i called to ask him why he had done that and he went off on me and started hanging up on me again. he then text me that he had done that to see how long it would take me to check it and that it was rediculous how fast i ran to check his facebook. i tried to tell him why i had found out and my message was sent as a message from him came though to not message him again that night or were done. he thought my message was a response and me not listening to him. now hes says he doesnt want me to come up to see him. i think hes just being angery but i dont know what to do anymore. im trying my best to fix the damage i have done but hes just making it so hard on me. hes going too far and being far meaner than i ever expected. he has a right to be mad and upset but not to be mean and spiteful. im upset all the time and i dont know what to do anymore. im miserable, im confused and im hurt. all i want is for things to be like they were when he was here and our relationship was great. PLEASE someone help me, what do i do?
