Growing up in a family where our culture bonded closely, it was strange that the word love was rarely used. I never knew what it was nor did my parents talk much about how they met and their blissful life together. I really had no idea that love between a man and a woman existed; I thought there was only love between family, friends, and God. It was not until I started to watch teen romance movies, adult romance movies and as I got more interested, I started to watch very old romance movies just to see how I missed this! I couldn’t believe that I never knew what this feeling was as I was growing up.
I was very curious … that made everything dangerous. I was young and did not understand that not all boys were as nice and respectful as my father. I was spared from making the “mistake” but I was always the one that ended up with the broken heart. I have been in four relationships that were not close what I wanted. Perhaps these are the typical men that most women would meet.
Guy #1
My first was out of curiosity… I went in to see and left with almost nothing. He was a guy that I had a huge crush on. Someone I admired a lot but when I was with him, he turned out to be a completely different person. They are someone who interferes with our lives in a negative way whereas we begin to think we are in love but actually we are just being foolishly in love with the image we painted. Lesson learned: Never confuse love with INFATUATION!
Guy #2
Being so disappointed I started to see many little things as big problems and that was when I met my second guy. He was charming, sweet, and gentle. He was a guy that brought sunshine into my dark period but when I was happy I realized he was just a support for me. These men are quite innocent and as earnest as us but somehow they do not “click” or make us interested to go on further. Lesson learned: Never believe that you are in love with someone just because they are nice, comforting, and almost “perfect”… he then becomes almost like a father figure instead of a lover.
Guy #3
After becoming a happy person once again, I met someone who was extraordinarily savvy and had a little “bad boy” swag in his walk. He was my rebellious side and the one that emotionally hurt me a lot. He was the typical jerk who pretends to love women who are sweet and innocent. This type of man … they are not worthy to be called men. They are just immature and are ill intentioned. Lesson learned: Never come to a fast conclusion about someone … always try to observe them, which is different from putting your guards up. Observing helps you to see what you like and dislike about him and determining whether he can change or you can deal with it. Putting your guards up doesn’t only protect you but also block yourself from love.
Guy #4
He was quite similar to Guy #3, but he was actually sincere—though not ready to commit. He loved me but couldn’t tolerate much of my spontaneous and “crazy” personality. He wanted someone quiet and decent but he couldn’t deal with the long distance and people watching us. He was the coward. He listened to what people said and was afraid to end our relationship. Lesson learned: A man who is constantly afraid to bring down his pride or “macho” look loves himself more than you … stay away from that self-absorbed guy.
Maybe I was very devastated in the past … in fact, maybe I was. My girlfriends still check on me too see if any other “monsters” are bugging me. I told them no and they were surprised. They were like “something must be going on … you’re not depressed or complaining about how confusing and mean men are.” I simply replied, “I’ve found my soul mate!” No one saw it coming but I did. I knew I was finally in love and that I was being loved and cherished at the same time. It is quite funny how we met … we were both shy and we finally talked to each other when the history class in our semester curriculum was ending. I said to myself, “I met him in history class but I would love to see him more often in the future.” He was a combination of all the good things I see in my past “friends” and exclusions of all the major dislikes I had in them.
