Over the past few years, I have spoken to dozens of happily married couples ... with marriages that have lasted for fifty years or more. Here are the fifteen pearls of wisdom, they all seemed to share.
1. Start your day together
Get your lazy bum out of bed and spend a few minutes together, before the day’s stresses. This applies to a husband and a wife. If you share nothing more then a cup of coffee together, you have shown each other a commitment towards your marriage. Is cutting a few minutes off your sleep schedule not worth that much? No harm done, but relationship strengthened.
2. Start your days on a positive note
Again, this applies to a husband and wife. Ladies, don’t gripe about things. Gentlemen, share something positive with your wife. Your spouse already knows about what ticks you off, but for heaven’s sake, must it be the focal point of every waking moment? This also applies to the end of the day. The phrase; don’t go to bed mad at each other, is absolutely right. When it comes to a good nights sleep, it is vitally important to let go off all the negatives between a couple. Worst case scenario, agree to disagree, at least for the moment.
3. Show affection toward each other
No matter how ticked off or stressed you may be, never forget that peck on the lips or cheek. Also it is a scientific fact, that a hug is a huge stress reliever. Affection is not just for the bedroom, it is vitally important at any time of day. It does not have to be a passionate moment, just a quick hug and kiss that can make the day so much better, for both of you.
4. Sit down for dinner
Sure, we all want to relax and watch the boob tube at the end of the day. But it surely does not show appreciation for the spouse that prepared the meal. Also, is what is on TV more important then a good marriage? So turn that TV off, and spend some time enjoying each other’s company. If you have children, dinner is family time. Talk to each other about the day. Talking only during commercial breaks is not a good way to stay strong as a couple, nor as a family. Sit around the dinner table; don’t sit around with TV trays.
5. Show respect and gratitude
Just because your wife is in charge of laundry or cleaning, does not mean that she does not deserve a, Thank You, every once in a while. Wives, take a moment to thank your husband for working to support the family, or cutting the grass or taking out the garbage. Never take the contributions, that each of you make towards your lives, for granted. Doing chores are a necessary evil, so be grateful towards each other. Oh, and of course, mean it when you say it. Also, this goes hand in had with sharing chores in a fair manner. A woman having to do all the housework is a ridiculous notion. Just as the notion that men handle all the hard work. Find balance and be fair.
6. Say “I Love You”
If you part company, definitely say this, as you may never know what can happen during the day. How would you feel if one of you were in an accident and, God forbid, actually died? Would you want your last memories with your spouse be an angry exchange. It will give your day a boost and a renewed reason for having to work. Three little words that can make all the difference towards a positive day, and a strong marriage. These should also be the last three words you say, before you go to sleep. No matter what has taken place, this is important.
