Marriage is like a jigsaw puzzle. Doesn’t matter if it is an easy fifty-piece puzzle or the mind-boggling 5,000 piece, we are all aiming to complete the picture. Even if we are vague what the final picture will look like.
It starts with two individual pieces, with their distinctive notches, that actually matched. From thereon, you create your picture by merging other pieces into both your lives, thus setting the tone and lifestyle that both share and enjoy. It is the early flush of success that deluded everyone into thinking that love can conquer all and expects the process to come together with the least effort from oneself.
In reality, finding the next correct piece is not easy. To top it off, there are many options to finish off the next piece. Coming to a common decision forces couples to look at the jigsaw from different point of views. Failure to learn how to compromise and navigate the differences is a common problem.
On the other hand, you can force some pieces together—one part fits while the other notches somewhat fit. May work well for a while until you add more pieces, the distorted picture become more and more apparent.
Others try to find solace elsewhere by starting from another corner instead of focusing on the current one. That spells infidelity.
If one accepts that we are all human, like putting together a puzzle, we will make mistakes along the way. Not one but many. Thus compassion for one another will go a long way instead of focusing who is to be blamed. In this respect, I find it easier to forgive my partner should he falter. At the same time, it allows me to move forward, without being too hard on myself, when I fail to measure up.
Regardless, the rule of the puzzle calls for us to keep changing the piece until we find the correct one. We dare to keep trying because we have complete faith that we will get the final picture eventually. And the result is always richly rewarding.
Therefore, a successful marriage is not one with less challenges or less pieces to put together, but one that has complete faith in the final picture. The process can be tricky and wrought with challenges. It calls for respect and good communication in making the decisions together.
Finally, an unshakable trust that both will have the faith to keep shifting and trying until you find the fit together.
