Summer’s here—it’s time to find that passport and head off for some much-needed R&R: Relaxation and Romance. While your Lonely Planet handbook may be able to steer you to a good budget hotel, consider this a Book of Odds travel manual of a different sort: a global lowdown on men, and where the best (and worst) can be found.
France
One need only think of Olivier Martinez in Unfaithful to be on a plane to Paris tout de suite. But before you dust off your high school French, some surprising statistics about Frenchmen have emerged recently which may make you think twice. According to a new study of sexuality in France, the odds are 1 in 5 a French man between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four says he has “no interest in sexual or romantic activity whatever.” Not to mention, the odds are 1 in 1.52 (66 percent) that a French man doesn’t even think he’s sexy. Sacre bleu!
While Frenchmen may not be endowed with a large sex drive, they are … endowed. According to a European study conducted by the Institute of Condom Consultancy, Frenchmen insist they need the largest condoms (6.09 inches on average)—a good three centimeters longer than the Greeks. The authors of the study refused to comment on whether it appeared to them the French were exaggerating.
England
Hugh Grant, Clive Owen, David Beckham—what’s not to love about British guys? Apparently a lot. According to a recent article in the UK newspaper, The Telegraph, foreign women find British men to be rather infuriating to date: they move at a snail’s pace and are stingy with compliments, easily intimidated, unchivalrous, and—gasp!—effeminate.
To add insult to injury, according to the dating website beautifulpeople.com, which naturally only accepts “beautiful people” as customers, Britons are some of the ugliest people in the world. Ouch. Fewer than 1 in 8 British men who apply to the service are accepted. Compare that with 65 percent of Swedish men!
But perhaps British men are getting an unfair rap. According to a recent Oxford University study, if you want to get married, you’ll have the best luck in England, America, or the Scandinavian countries. The study found a correlation between men’s willingness to do housework and the likelihood of their getting married. Apparently, while British guys may not be willing to dish out a compliment, they are willing to do the dishes!
Italy
1 in 9.09 people believe the best-looking men live in Italy. Lucky for us, they live up to their reputation. Ranked number two in bed, Italian men are more than just eye candy.
But before you rent your villa in Tuscany, there’s something you should know about Italian men: they are incurable mamma’s boys. Yes, that’s right: according to MSNBC, over half of Italian men between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-five still live with their mothers. Mamma mia! That could make rolling around with Romeo a little awkward.
Australia
Don’t be fooled by their laidback attitude, Australian men are just being modest. According to HostelBookers.com, who waded through over 10,000 completed surveys, Australians are considered the best lovers in the world (giving a new meaning to the term penal colony!).
But while Australian men may be great lovers, other research indicates they may not be such great husbands. Australian men are some of the least likely to help out with the housework. Ladies—guess we know who’s cleaning the shrimp off the barbie.
But at least Australian men aren’t vain. Only 1 in 8.33 reports that his appearance is very important to him.
Russia
Compare that to Russia where the odds are 1 in 1.89 (53 percent) a guy reports being invested in his looks. And apparently, the average Russian man really likes what he sees in the mirror. 1 in 1.25 (80 percent) Russian guys thinks he’s sexy. God bless vodka. Unfortunately, ego and reality may not match up as nicely as Russians hope. According to beautifulpeople.com, the only guys uglier than the Brits are the Russians.
