Are you one of those women who loves Valentine’s Day? Does this holiday make your head spin with possibilities? Or, are you like me and find the entire holiday a waste of time? I got married pretty late, when I was thirty-five. That meant I spent many, many Valentine’s Days single and alone. Sometimes I had a boyfriend, but it didn’t always equate to a fabulous, rose-filled Valentine’s Day. More often than not, the relationship wasn’t right and Valentine’s Day was just a painful reminder of that fact. Now that I’m married, I still dislike this holiday. And it’s not just because I spent countless Valentine’s Days alone.
Last year, my husband and I decided to venture out to our favorite Italian restaurant in Los Angeles for a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner. We’ve been going to this restaurant for years because it’s small, intimate, and the food is excellent. We usually get a private corner table. Well, not last February 14! We were seated right in the middle of two other tables, with barely enough room to move, let alone have a private conversation. Then, to our horror, a man appeared and created a big fuss with the waiter and maître d’. This guy was there to set up the table next to us because he was planning to propose to his fiancée. The proposal was to be a surprise for his fiancée and take place in public, in front of the entire restaurant. Then, he left two huge stuffed animals in the chairs at his table and exited the restaurant. Our appetizers arrived and we tried not to notice the huge, silly stuff animals that everyone was laughing at. The guy reappeared just in time for his fiancée to arrive.
This guy’s fiancée sat down and, judging from the look on her face, this wasn’t what she wanted. At all. He continued to make a big, loud commotion as the entire restaurant watched. They stared eating. Then, came the BIG MOMENT. He pulled out the ring and asked her to marry him. My husband and I were about ten inches from them. It was so uncomfortable. As the guy put the ring on her finger, the look on her face said it all: she wasn’t pleased. Something was very wrong. I think she hated the ring. Maybe she hated him. Who knows? She tried to play along, but the entire proposal was over-the-top and clearly too public for her. She seemed like she wanted to disappear under the table. We felt the same way.
My husband asked for our food to go and we quickly left the restaurant. It wasn’t what we wanted either. Watching the proposal fall flat, sitting way too close to this couple, I was reminded that Valentine’s Day isn’t always the greeting-card holiday it’s meant to be. In fact, whether you’re married, engaged (and just received a proposal), or single, it can be a disaster.
