My first entry would be about my crush? Yes, that’s how it is. My first ever crush, whom I’ll never forget. I’ll love him till I die, because he was the first person who taught me how to love, how to fall crazily for someone. He is so special and unpredictable. His personality traits, his spectacles, his smile, his piercing sharp eyes! Would I ever forget all these? Could I? Never!
He (and only he) taught me how to know people, how to see people’s hearts, how to treasure people—even if it’s impossible, even if it’s against the society, but for the sake of love, he taught me how to keep it a secret, to keep it folded, to keep it in me. I’d never confess, never express my feelings to him. For I conveyed them with my eyes, the eyes he looks in to. He knows it, my madness, my insanity—for him! But with that being said, I can never imagine him beside me, because of the style of thinking of our society and our parents. Because there are so many boundaries, which I shall never cross—or dare to cross.
Let me be specific, now. He is my teacher. Aged thirty-six (thirty-seven in two months and unmarried), wears black-framed glasses, a large full-shirt, pants, and carries a black modest side bag. He looks so divine, so handsome, though in a simple, modest outfit. His knowledgeable, piercing, sharp, mysterious eyes, his glimpses and glances—all are so symmetrical, perfect, perfect and perfect! How did he come up with such perfect combinations! His sweet yet daring yet vile smile touches my heart, his soothing, calm voice has a melodious harmony that shall always linger in my heart, in my gray matters. The way he said, “Geeee, sir?” Can I ever forget that? The way he complimented my hand-writing about which I was quite indifferent, the way he looked into my eyes and smiled continuously at Tiffin Break—how could they ever possibly be forgotten?
Yes, he might not look at me, maybe he looked at my friend, maybe he liked her personality, her looks, her figure, her conversations with him—but can I not hope this that maybe he loved me too? Maybe once he also liked me, looked at me, searched me, longed for me? It’s funny, silly, but it’s not harmful to expect—or predict!
Maybe all you who would be reading this will find me rather immature, stupid, blunt, but to be honest, I am an A-grade student, teachers love me. It’s a place for me to share my feelings so therefore, I shall tell you all, why he might or might not like me:
(Thanks to God) Might like me for:
1. I’m a good, exceptional student.
2. I look rather prettier than the average. I’ve nice eyes.
3. I’m not tall, not short (five-feet-three-inches)
4. I’m logical, sensitive, and have a strong personality.
Might not like me for:
1. I’ve got a bad temper.
2. Not that feminine.
3. I’m rather skinny (35-27-35)
4. Hey, maybe he thinks I’m not pretty!
Anyway, I shall update it quite often. It’s just like a journal for myself, my own use about him.
Up-coming “Barsha Boron” is coming (it’s like a ‘Prom’); I’ll be wearing blue sari and tips and kohl. Will he look at me? After that, my exams are coming! I gotta get my butt on to studies!
