Dating . . . it’s exhausting. I can’t tell you how many times my married friends have told me they live vicariously through me. Are they crazy?
I recently met a man that told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious, just casual. I thought, okay, let’s see what happens. So I went out with him assuming that all he would want is sex . . . and I left confused. The date was romantic and fun and flirty and at the end, there was nothing more than kissing. I couldn’t wait to see him again.
The second date started off sweet and romantic, but ended with major attempts to get in my pants. While I was forewarned that this would happen—he did say casual—I was still confused at the fact that he put so much effort into the first date. Why bother? There are tons of girls who will put out on the first date so why make such an effort with one that obviously isn’t going to go that route?
This experience led me to call an old friend for his opinion. He explained that he has never been asked to wait past the second date. This blew my mind. Are women really that promiscuous? Do they not get emotionally attached like me? I know who I am and I know what I’m looking for, but I tend to get distracted by romance and a pretty face. Not distracted enough to let my guard down though. I want a relationship. I want someone to come home to. I don’t want random sex partners that won’t call the next day. The main reason I wait so long before jumping into sex is simply because I don’t want my emotions clouding my logical judgment. I want to meet a long-term partner and how will I know if he’s right if I distract myself with lust?
Don’t get me wrong, I think sex is fantastic. In fact, I wish I could just jump in and start sleeping around, but it’s not me. However, in the world we live in, my competition is high. Why would a guy date me when there are so many girls that don’t want the emotional commitment and don’t want to stay the night? And the bigger question, when did girls become so lax with their bodies?
Sometimes I just don’t feel it. I go out on a couple dates to try to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, but deep down I know I’m just not that into him. If I slept with every guy I had a second date with, I would not feel good about myself. I would feel slutty. And as I mentioned previously, I might cloud my judgment because I’d feel emotionally attached for the wrong reasons.
This new world has left me wondering, should I change who I am and just go for it? Or should I remain true to myself and wait until the time is right? This old fashioned girl is clearly living in the wrong decade.
