To keep the peace and to move the relationship forward a man makes-believe and convinces his woman that she will be his only sexual partner for the life of that relationship. Even worst is his disloyalty to himself according to American heritage dictionary of a cheater—someone who leads you to believe something that is not. He leads himself to believe he is something that he is not—which is a man with a single sexual desire for one woman—his wife / girl-friend. This might be true in the first six months of their relationship. After that his needs are stronger than his words, the truth inevitably reveals itself, and he finds a way to have his biological needs meet. He visits strip clubs, reads adult magazines, and books, spends money on hookers, has an extra-martial affairs, downloads pornography or lives out his fantasies in his head while making love. As much as we like to pretend his ancestral lineage will not let men repress their sexual need; neither will vows, a promise or a committed relationship. As a society we would like to believe the “I do” at the altar or the birth of your first child changes man’s instinctual need; this unqualified truth has caused many hearts to be broken.
How many times have we heard, “How could you do that to me,” “I thought you loved me,” “We are married and have a family,” or “You cheated on me … I’m leaving you and you’ll never see your kids again,” “Our trust is ruined … I trusted you I can never trust you again.” I’m not doing these quotes the justice they deserve, because if you’ve use one of these quotes or heard similar words. You know that behind those words is a lot of pain and sadness. I sometimes watch the Maury show when they do a segment with the lie detector and the women are accusing the men of “cheating.” As daytime talk shows would have it, the men are usually guilty of adultery or being unfaithful to a devoted girlfriend; thus the need for the lie detector to prove her suspicion. When the results come back from the lie detector test it shows that the man has indeed “cheated.” Even though Maury, like The Springer Show, isn’t the most sophisticated I see the same hurt and devastation on the faces of the guests on Dr. Phil or Oprah. Despite what show it is women are truly crushed because they were taught false beliefs about themselves and men’s sexual needs. This is one of the fundamental reasons young, sexually active teens should be taught the truth about the opposite sex, sexuality, and emotional needs, so that as adults they don’t live a fool’s life. Basically, females should be taught that after sex, males want to move on to their next task. Males should be taught female will want to cuddle afterwards. Of course the debates said if he really cared about her he would cuddle. The opposing side said if she really cares she should let him leave, sleep, or watch TV.
Among the top ten reasons for a man not to want to get married, is his concern that he is obligated and is expected to be faithful to only one woman for the rest of his life. For a man this a very frightening thought and for a younger man this is unimaginable. The rest of your life is an eternity. Even though he makes it to the altar and marries his beautiful bride, quite often the young groom does his best to consider monogamy an option. His impetuous instincts tell him his sexual urges are his rite of passage into manhood. It doesn’t take long before he is looking. It shouldn’t even be asked of a young man under twenty-five years old to be faithful, in a committed relationship and certainly he should not marry. With older men time and a lack of opportunity are his watch dog.
