Have we become a jaded society when we see a wedding ring on someone’s finger and choose to flirt anyway? Someone tells us they are divorced and we invest our heart only to find out later they are indeed married. Are we just as guilty if we continue the relationship? What if two married couples who are unsatisfied at home find excitement and passion in each other and start an affair? Are all of these people to blame for the 50 percent divorce rate today?
It starts with flirting, emailing, texting, and develops into a friendship. Before you know it, you’re both stroking each other’s neglected areas that have been craving attention for so long. There is a mutual connection and a dangerous spark ignites. You begin to long for this person and your thoughts are captivated by them. It could be a co-worker, client, or God forbid, your boss. It is always someone who is unavailable. The ultimate taboo topic: “Having an Affair.”
Maybe you didn’t mean for it to happen but you also didn’t walk away when you had the chance. Was it thinking, I can handle just one kiss because it won’t go any further? Of course it will go further and soon your mind will justify your behavior. Is it possible for two married adulterers to have an agreement? You agree neither of you has any intention of ever leaving your respective partners. This understanding now makes it safe to begin the affair. These exhilarating trysts have little threat or risk since there are no strings attached. You can rest assure that neither of you will go “Fatal Attraction” on the other. These types of affairs can go on for years without anyone ever knowing.
What can go wrong? Well, getting caught for one, but in today’s technological world, it is as easy as ever to have an affair. Still, there is one issue that never seems to be discussed. The inevitable—most women cannot separate sex and love. Sure, in the beginning woman talk a good game about having their needs met sexually; it’s fun, romantic, and exciting. Maybe the woman has justified the affair possibly because her husband ignores her, focuses all his time on work, or doesn’t make her a priority.
The man’s excuse will go something along the lines of, my wife doesn’t appreciate me, I don’t feel cared for, or my wife only has sex with me once a month. Ladies, a man requires sex more than once a month or guess what? “He will be looking elsewhere.” Back to the couple having the affair—the woman will inevitably develop true feelings or possibly even fall in love. Her current life will no longer satisfy her and she will want something more from the affair.
As I said, it is not natural for woman to separate sex and love on a long-term basis. Every aspect of a woman’s life is connected. Our relationships, family, friends, children, work, etc. When we think of one, we think of how it will affect all the rest. A man on the other hand is capable of compartmentalizing his emotions. Men have boxes in their minds where they store their information. Each box separately labeled—food, sex, work, kids, wife, mistress, sports. You get the idea. One never interferes or overlaps with the other. This is why most men never leave their wives for their mistress.
Studies show that if a man hasn’t left his wife after three months into the affair, he probably never will. If the man has children, he will tell you he can’t leave because of his children. I am not condoning home wrecking. I am saying with all the statistics we have today and woman as independent as ever—how are we still falling for the same empty promises? Are there simply not enough men to go around? Or is it all the good ones are taken and the rest are gay? Why are woman with perfectly good husbands cheating?
