Good Sex, Even Better Sex

I never knew sex could be like this. 

I thought my first lover was good—and he was. He had a lot of experience and knew how to touch my body to ignite my lust, but there was no emotional connection. We weren’t involved romantically; we only used each other to fuck. I assumed that’s as good as sex got—if you found a guy who knew what he was doing, you should be glad he wasn’t a fumbling idiot. One regret that I have with him was that he was entirely about getting off himself and not caring about bringing me to climax, but since he was my first and I had never orgasmed before, I didn’t know what I was missing. There was no freedom in communicating what I wanted. I felt I couldn’t make any demands on him since he wasn’t “mine.” 

Then I met my boyfriend and I realized how magical sex can be. The emotional connection made sex so much more intense, and I found myself enveloped with feelings of love and desire that I never felt before. I felt that he was not only making love to my body but to my heart and mind. He wanted all of me—heart, mind, and soul—and that made me crazy for him. His eagerness to please me showed in his willingness to go down on me for however long I needed to come. The first time I orgasmed, the experience was out of this world. For me, and I think for most women, sex is mental as well as physical, and when I see his desire to satisfy me and want all of me, not just my body, I am so blown away that sex is with him is absolute paradise for me. 

The contrast between these two sexual partners could not be more stark. One just wanted to fuck and was doing it for purely selfish reasons. I always helped him get off but he never returned the favor. When I think about it now, I was nothing but a pair of boobs and a piece of ass to him. It makes me sick to my stomach that I was involved with that. My current lover (in bed and in life) saw me as a whole person and something special to cherish. When we have sex, he is not only thinking of himself but also of how he can give me pleasure as well. He is so in tune with what I am and want that the sex we have is unbelievable. 

With my first sexual partner, I didn’t think emotions mattered much during sex. I figured they got in the way. And he always said, “Only puppies make love, adults fuck.” Although there is a difference between making love and fucking, and both have their place in the bedroom. Having the option and the ability to either make love or fuck helps the relationship. And really, for a woman, emotions are huge and when there is a connection between her and the partner she is with, sex can be amazing. Just sex is good; but a connection with the person you are having sex with is even better.