Two nights ago, one of my cats chewed through the cord of my favorite vibrator. I am not pleased!
I was in bed, unable to sleep, and my husband was snoring next to me. What I needed was my Rabbit Pearl vibrator to play with and then I could finally fall asleep.
I reached into the little drawer on my headboard to get the vibrator, but it wasn’t there. That was when I saw the chewed wire. I reached up onto the headboard, and there was the vibrator, now in two pieces thanks to Lucky, The Cat Who Can Do No Wrong.
Until Now!
I showed the vibrator to my husband the next day, and he said he can fix it for me. I hope he does that soon since my vibrator is my friend. This incident made me think about other incidents involving pets giving their opinion of your sex life. Don’t you just hate the scrutiny?
I had one cat named Koala who liked to watch me in the act. Smartest cat I have ever seen, and very opinionated. So my husband and I would be going at it in bed, and I’m lying there with my legs around his hips, eyes closed, really getting into it, and I open my eyes.
Staring at me from a spot directly over my head from his spot on the headboard is Koala, his head bobbing up and down as he watches us have sex. It is not easy to concentrate on having an orgasm when a cat is staring you down while you go at it.
Pets that get involved in your sex life aren’t always amusing. I read an article about a London woman who learned the hard way. Her boyfriend’s African grey parrot squawked, “I love you, Gary” while she sat on the couch with him.
There was one big problem. Her boyfriend’s name was Chris.
That was the moment Chris found out his girlfriend had been cheating on him with a bloke named Gary. She had moaned Gary’s name so often while shagging him that the bird picked up on the cue, and announced his name for all to hear. The bird even mimicked her voice. Sadly, Chris had to let the bird go because hearing it call for his girlfriend’s lover in her voice was very painful, especially after they broke up.
I’ve heard of people who get their pets involved in “child” custody disputes, and I’ve written about those kinds of incidents in my column before, but having pets watch you while you do The Nasty is a bit more disconcerting.
Still, I think it’s a great ice breaker when you discover your cat scrutinizing your sex play as if it’s about to hold up a card giving you a rating of 9 (or 6, if the cat is a Russian Blue).
