When Love Hurts
Someone once said, “love is blind, deaf and dumb.” But true love isn’t. What most people deem love or being in love is false, a fantasy, something made of fairy tales. Many times ‘love’ is lust, or infatuation, or propelled by a total lack of common sense. If people truly understood the meaning of what true love, unconditional, unselfish, devoted love is relationships and marriages wouldn’t be in the chaotic state they are today. In fact, close to half of all marriages end in divorce.
As women we are the queens of extreme self-neglect. We don’t have time to love ourselves and we neglect our own happiness, health, freedom, advancement, education or self -respect in order to take care and help others – spouse, family, kids, friends, co-workers. We tend to push forward no matter what pain we are in mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically. And in doing so we are the ones who suffer more with physical and health problems, as well as psychological issues e.g. depression, drugs and alcohol abuse or emotional eating, than our male counterparts. We put everyone first and ourselves last, especially when it comes to a man. Unfortunately, losing oneself in a man is one of the worse things you can do for many reasons, including being blinded by “love” in the form of infidelity.
When a woman takes a man back after he has committed the ultimate act of betrayal their marriage will never be the same. Even with counseling, that woman will always have in the back of her mind the thought that her husband may be cheating on her. How do you let the man back into your heart and become truly intimate again when you have no idea what he’s up to once he leaves the house?
Forgiving a man and allowing him to share your body and your bed after he has stuck a knife in your heart diminishes respect for you. It doesn’t matter what he buys you in an attempt to make amends for his wrong doing; no diamond, no new house or car, no vacation, nothing should ever take the place of the love you should have for yourself. Making excuses for staying with the cheater, e.g. the kids need a father, I don’t have the finances to support myself, my religion forbids divorce, what will my family, friends, co-workers say, and the biggie – I still love him, these excuses mean you are not being true to yourself and what you deserve to have in your life, which is a committed, loving, honest husband, lover and friend.
