My husband is your typical, average every day kinda guy. What you see is what you get. I like to compare him to Brad Garrett in that commercial where they call him “Mr. Crumudgeon.” Or even Ed Asner when he played on the Mary Tyler Moore show. He’s got that gruff exterior. He is a Type A personality, very detail oriented, and sometimes hard to live with—but he’s my husband and I love him and he loves me. A healthy conclusion would be that my husband is probably not very romantic—that he doesn’t remember the important dates, places, etc.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I was certainly reminded of this fact on Valentine’s Day and realized that I have a diamond in the rough. He’s rough on the outside—but a diamond in the center where it counts.
Every Valentine’s Day we go to the same restaurant. It’s the same restaurant where he proposed to me. Every Valentine’s Day he requests the same table and the same waiter (who is still there years later). And, every Valentine’s Day when we get to our table—he has called the same florist who puts a beautiful flower arrangement at my place, complete with a poem or story my husband has written. Not to mention, the fact that he does all of this long distance since we spend our Valentine’s Day in another state. And, every Valentine’s Day it brings me to tears that he has taken all of this time and effort to make our Valentine’s Day special.
He doesn’t do this kind of thing just on Valentine’s Day. He is pretty good on my birthday as well. He always surprises me with a unique and/or different restaurant. He tries to make it surprise (although I usually know he is up to something). For Christmas, I know his gifts are going to be thoughtful. The gifts he gives are not necessarily expensive pieces of jewelry or anything that put a dent in our bank book, but they are symbolic and meaningful to us. For instance, one Christmas he gave me this wooden frog with ridges on its back and when you run the little wooden tool that came with the frog along the wooden ridges—it sounds like it’s croaking. It was a reminder of a trip we took where we sat by a pond full of frogs and they were croaking and it sounded so neat. What guy remembers that? Or one time he gave me this neat martini glass that was exactly like the glass I had when we took our first trip together and we said “I love you” to each other. And, on every anniversary, we go to the beach where we were married—and on the exact spot—we remind each other of why we married each other and how much we mean to each other.
These little (or big) gestures he shows to me always remind me of why I married him. I always say that my husband is every thing I never knew I wanted. I married rather late (at thirty-seven) and if I would have met my husband in my twenties, I probably would not have dated him. I always thought that I would marry a guy who was into the outdoors, mountain biking, and very athletic like I am. My husband is not. Sure, he likes to camp and fish—but he does not play sports, he doesn’t mountain bike, and he is a workaholic. But, I have learned, those things a marriage does not make.
Down deep, he has all of the core values that I knew I wanted in a husband. He is a godly man who puts God first in his life. He takes his job at being the “man of the house” very seriously to make sure he provides for our household. He has a great sense of humor, can be pretty silly. He loves to tease me to exasperation and when I get so bugged—he just busts out laughing—and I can’t help but to join in. He puts others first. He is the first to tell me to write a check or give a donation to those less fortunate, and it’s usually a larger amount than I would have thought. Or, if we can’t help financially or it requires us to work, he is the first to volunteer and get the work done. He realizes that even though we have been blessed materially and financially—what matters most is not those things—but the responsibility we have as a whole to others. We enjoy the life we have been given, but we live the principle “to those who have been given much, much is expected.” He has a huge heart and I love that about him.
If he never gave me another gift, another night out, or surprised me in any other way, as long as he kept his core values—I would be happy. Because this is what makes him the man he is. These are the things that are important in life. They get you through the hard times, through the storms of life. He and I both know that it isn’t the things you acquire, but the things you do for others that are most fulfilling. We are firm believers that by keeping our focus not on self, but others allows us to be able to make a difference in someone else’s life.
And even though he sometimes drives me crazy (and not in a good way), and I’m sure I do the same to him—I know who he is deep down and it makes it all worth it. So, the next time he is teasing me to absolute frustration or having to work in his home office for a week solid, I will remember the special things he does, and know that as a whole, I am a very, very lucky woman indeed if these are the worse things I can say about him.
