Dear Dr. Romance,
How are you? I read your article “Sex After Divorce” on Divorce360. I have a question. I have been separated for three years and I think I will be getting divorced in three to four months. I have a three-year-old kid and my delivery involved fourth-degree tear with perineal tear. My face and figure are still beautiful but now I have stretch marks on my hips and breasts. Also, I have low self-esteem due to the fact that I am dealing with urine leakage every now and then because of the fourth-degree tear—and because my vagina looks weird and feels loose. I do not feel confident about new relationships. I feel insecure and feel like no one will love me. I do not feel like having sex. In short, I am deliberately not looking for new relationship as do not want to get hurt. Any suggestions?
Dear Reader,
You are not a kid any more, so you need to look for a more grown-up relationship. You need someone who will be a good match for a grown woman with a child. Start by making adult friends. Join groups of parents with children, or join a community organization. There you’ll make friends who care about you, not because you’re beautiful, but because you’re a caring human being. Before long, someone will stand out as special, and also think you are special. You will already know something about this person, from being around him for a while at the group, so it will be easier to establish a connection. For more help, read my article “Where is love”. My book, The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty, will also be helpful.
Your vaginal problems may be correctible with surgery. Please ask your doctor.
