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Real Love?

My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years. He treats me very good and tells me that he loves me, but he says he wants to see me have sex with another man and post pornographic pictures of me on a website where men share porno pictures of their wives and girlfriends.

How can you love someone and want to see her have sex with another man, or know other men are looking at porno pictures of the person you’re supposed to love and that other men are probably masturbating over her?

First published November 2010

3 readers liked this story.

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Key terms (tags) for this article:
porn, love, sex, dating advice, boyfriend, sexual fantasy (view other popular tags)

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Comments

I do believe he loves me, it's just hard to understand how he could see me having sex with another man & that not bther him. I could never even think about him having sex with another woman without feeling ill. I also think that if he truly loves me, that if that ever happened (which it won't) he would feel differently. Fanasy is one thing, reality is something else. If he really could watch me have sex with another man & it not bother him, then I feel that he would not really love me the way I need to be loved. We'll never know becaus it will NEVER happen. I hope he can except that fact & still be happy to stay with me & never go with someone else behind my back to live out this fantasy. When he asked me to marry him, I take that to mean that he will be faithful to me.

Sounds like he does love you , but in another post you mentioned that you didn't think he knew what love is. Why the change in heart? I know of other people with this same fantasy, both male AND female.Some of these negative responses that I have read sounds as though they come from bitter hurt people.Nowadays to make relationships work both parties have to be open minded , not in the sense you have to cave in to one anothers demands or fantasies,but , not to condem them on what they may share with you. A lot of relationships fail because of a lack of communication, sounds to me like he is sharing his thoughts with you.Also sounds like he feels comfortable enough with you to be willing to share these thoughts out loud, which as you know is tuff to do.A man has a habit of not sharing his thoughts and it sounds like he is trying to be open with you.I wish you luck in your relationship.(A mans point of view)

He asked me to marry him in front of his whole family on Christmas day, that meant alot to me. I know that he loves me & he knows that his fantasy will remain just that. Some things are better left to fanatasy & the imagination. He treats me better & makes me happier than anyone who has ever been in my life. I hope to spend the rest of my life with him.

I appreciate your comment Aura. I beleive he does love me but just doesn't realize the consequences of acting out such a fanatsy. You are right about how I would feel about everyone involved, including him & myself, if I went through with it. I would be disgusted with myself & eventually lose my love for him for letting him talk me into it. I think he would lose his love & respect for me also in the end. I have told him it will never happen & he hasn't brought it up again. I hope he can be happy wiith me as the person I am. If not, it wasn't meant to be. He is a caring & loving person to me inn every other aspect of our relationship. He also knows that if he goes outside the reationship, sexually speaking, to fufill this fantasy that our relationship would be over. I couldn't forget or forgive cheating even once as much as I love him.

This is bs. Do you actually think that this guy loves you? Who changed the definition of love-the liberals???!!! There is no love between 3 or more people. that is called lust. wake up and find someone who really deserves you. this society likes to brainwash the young generations...for your information most of people who do this end up breaking up. as "cool" as some people think that this experience is, after you wake up to reality you will be disgusted with yourself and the rest of the people that is involved. it is normal after your lust is gone together with your dignity. Take care. That what it is wrong with some people-no self esteem or really low.