Ah, soul mates. We’ve all been fed the romantic notion that there’s one perfect someone out there for us. Everyone has one perfect soul mate, and if we’re lucky, we’ll find each other and live happily ever after. The stars will align for us: we’ll be born at the same time (give or take a few or twenty years) and after living our lives a little, we’ll magically end up in the same part of the world at exactly the right time to fall head-over-heels in love. We’ll know instantly when we meet. Bells will ring, cupids will dance around our heads, and we’ll have stars in our eyes. You’ve seen the cartoon and movie versions, I’m sure.
I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that it doesn’t work like that most of the time, and when it does, it doesn’t always have a happy ending. The good news is that even when things end badly, we can still make our own happy ending. The other good news is that there’s more than one soul mate for each of us. To understand this, you’ll need a better understanding of what a soul mate really is.
Soul mates are individuals who incarnate together for the purpose of growing in love. They make agreements with each other to help teach the life lessons each wants to learn. Then they incarnate at more or less the same time as a soul family. The members of a soul family are soul mates. Soul mates are kindred spirits, but they are not necessarily romantic partners. Your best friend is a soul mate, and one, sometimes both of your parents are soul mates. Anyone with whom you’ve been in a significant romantic relationship is a soul mate.
When I say significant romantic relationship, I mean one that has impacted you on a deeply emotional level. Soul mates give you a chance to see yourself more clearly. Any significant relationship that teaches you something about yourself is a relationship with a soul mate.
It doesn’t have to be a long-term relationship. It doesn’t even have to be a relationship that had a positive outcome. Some of our soul mates agree to act as the villain in our life to help us learn something important about ourselves. For example, a partner who cheated on you may not seem like a soul mate, but if that experience helps you grow in self-respect, then that person has given you a gift. You may not appreciate the wrapping, but once you’re on the other side of the experience, you will appreciate the gift.
