We all come into the world as perfect, radiant beings. We deeply trust that we will be loved and cared for. We look at the world with eyes of unconditional love and we expect that love to be reflected back to us. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out like that. At some point in our young lives, we discover that our needs will not always be met. We cry and are left unattended. We’re hungry and we don’t get fed right away. We have a dirty diaper and are left to sit in it. As we grow, we fall down and hurt ourselves. We misbehave and a parent takes away our favorite toy. We eat crayons and get yelled at. We throw food and get a smack on the hand. Each experience creates an impression in the psyche.
Even if your childhood was idyllic, you were still wounded. No matter how wonderful your parents were, there were times when you felt alone, abandoned, and unloved as an infant or young child. A seemingly simple thing like being left to cry in a playpen for a few minutes can create a lasting impact on the psyche. Even if your parents were wonderful, loving beings, you may have had a teacher or a babysitter who gave you a message that led you to hide your light. It is a normal, natural part of the process of being human.
I believe that we come into the world to play a game. The game is to hide our light and try to find it again—a game of cosmic hide and seek. Our soul mates are the other players in the game. We are all divine beings, pretending to be mere mortals. We have veils, called maya (illusion) in Sanskrit, that make us forget that we are powerful co-creators of our reality, and that we each have a spark of the divine within. We choose our parents for the ways they will help us forget that our true nature is unconditional love, and then we spend most, if not all, of our adult lives trying to find our way back to that unconditional love.
All the reasons we look for and attract a romantic partner come down to one thing: we have been wounded as small children and our soul—our heart—deeply desires to be whole again. It’s always looking for those missing pieces to put back into the puzzle that is you. It’s also always looking for a do-over; a way to replay the times your parents wounded you and heal from them by creating a more loving outcome. Our romantic partners and other members of our soul family agree to help us put the pieces back together.
