1. That someday your prince will come but that is so not the end of the story. Happily ever after does exist but is another quest with different courage requirements.
2. That your intuition and instincts need to be nurtured and can be trusted. They are a millenia of wisdom gifted in genetics created just for you. Trust your gut and ask lots of questions.
3. That childbirth is not the intimate place you dream of. It’s you at your animal best/worst. Consider reinstating The Red Tent. Really.
4. Childbirth changes things. Especially sex. Not permanently, maybe, but they will change for enough reasons that warrant an entire post of its own.
5. That the physical pain of child birth will rip you apart and feel like a Mack truck ploughing through your vagina, crushing your pelvic bones.
6. That the physical pain of childbirth will be more than matched in intensity by the ferocious love and mother bear protection borne that day and will surprise even you. That raising children will be the most difficult thing you will ever do and one thing you will never regret. One great adventure.
7. That having periods kind of sucks - forever.
8. That not having periods sucks more. There’s just something about fertility.
9. That taking a pill that messes with your hormones is constantly more than a little concerning.
10. That not taking that pill is way more concerning. (The Catholic Church will never tell you that.)
11. That first time sex is mostly awkward, anti-climactical (literally) and unforgettable.
12. That uninhibited love making is an addictive, fun elixir; maybe the Holy Grail (The Catholic Church will NEVER tell you that either.)
13. That you will forfeit many relationships in the ‘learn by mistakes’ School of Communications skill acquisition; that redemption is one of life’s greatest gifts and forgiving yourself the hardest apology to elicit. Do it and move on. Too many gifts are denied to the world in self flagellation.
14. That one day you will secretly delight in the opposite gender glances you still receive. Then you will realize that they are not intended for you but are directed at your teen-age daughters—even by men your own age. Especially by men your own age.
15. That model-like thinness is not something most men desire. They like boobs, butts and curves. Why? Because they don’t have them. Huge thank-you to the guy who taught me that.
16. That menopause will feel like betrayal of your body. All those years of eating well and exercising matter little to power hungry hormones.
17. That guys will always crane their necks to look at the youthful curves walking on by. Institute the Three Second Rule and be thankful your guy is appreciative.
18. That you will lose yourself being a stay-at-home mother. It’s necessary. And that finding yourself again someday will be tougher than you think. But your ‘money’ will be in the bank.
19. That you may lose much more trying to juggle it all. That you may still have to find yourself again someday. But it may be easier. I don’t know. Not my path. Sorry.
20. That a smile IS your best accessory, that honesty IS the best policy, that what goes around DOES come around and that you will NEVER stop growing or changing and most of all when you least expect it.
Life is long but not long enough. Do unto others, stay curious and always tip the mailman.
