Living with another human being day after day, year after year for many years can be wonderful, but it can also be a trying experience. Tolerating their idiosyncrasies and annoying habits can weaken or strengthen the relationship. Add marriage into the equation, and it becomes even more complicated.
We all need our own personal space. Most married couples are able to designate a room of their own at home. While living in a 2.5 room apartment in Manhattan, this can be difficult or nearly impossible.
I have found the secret to living in a small space is staying organized, avoiding clutter, and purging several times per year. Even while strictly adhering to this philosophy, difficulties still arise in 825 square feet.
Just like me, Mike likes lots of stuff. Big stuff. Little stuff. All kinds of stuff. He also has an ever-growing wardrobe now that he is a New Yorker. It used to be tools plus nuts and bolts. He no longer needs these. Now it is shoes and clothes plus hats.
In an effort to keep him organized, and keep me from getting nutty, shortly after we moved into 590, I gave him a little black box to store his personal items. These things include: a wallet, keys, a pocket knife, sunglasses, and a packet of chewing gum. This little black box would stay on the buffet that is the main piece of furniture in our living room which is four steps from the foyer. A short time went by, and the box became overstuffed. It began to overflow onto the beautiful new buffet. Or it extended onto the dining room table. Errghhhh!
Okay. So I resolved this by getting another box. The new black box is a bit larger, and approximately 8x11. Good size—right? So for the past year or so, Mike has been keeping the original items and any new items tucked away neatly in his new black box. Fabulous.
A few weeks ago, I began to notice the overflowing again. I mentioned this. He resolved the issue by purging. And alas, all of his tchotchkes fit! Now just a short time later, the box is bulging and is barely able to close. Last night, I asked, “What is going on with the box?” I opened it and found that the contents included: three pairs of glasses, a battery charger, several pieces of mail, currency, two pocket knives, and a CD. This is in additional to the wallet, keys, gum, etc. from the original box!
No wonder the box cannot latch.
I must admit, I like things put in their place 24/7. I really like for our apartment to be clean, tidy, and never in disarray. I love coming home to fluffed pillows and seat cushions, and I enjoy the smell of Murphy’s oil soap. This is a problem, just like my addiction to shoes and whatever else. But, I am very honest and I communicate this quite well.
Last night, during the discussion, my husband commented that I have a “jewelry drawer” in my closet. My response was appropriate. “I am a woman with JEWELRY! What jewelry do you have besides your watches, which should stay in your closet?” His response however was correct, “My wedding ring!”
In order to resolve this quickly, Mike will now have a small black ring box. Since I know this is the one item that sent the overflowing goods over the top to the furniture, this was an easy fix. Now all is tucked inside again which calms the nuttiness that I previously mentioned.
We are currently on the waiting list for that in-demand storage unit in our basement. If only the wait was over, we would have plenty of space for all of the extra “stuff”.
When it comes to lasting relationships, they are not all that different from the “Black Box”. Every so often we must stop and evaluate, adjust, choose what’s most important, purge, and soon all will fit into place once again.
