I have two small children, a husband, a household, and my work.
I do want to connect with Source (or whatever you call that higher part that governs the universe) and I do want to be the best I can be. I do want to be enlightened.
Many spiritual teachers suggest that a true state of divine connectedness can only be attained through stilling your mind, sitting quietly and by detachment from the world.
Well, that has not been working for me.
And I am pretty sure it hasn’t been working for you, either.
So I started questioning this paradigm.
It is, after all, the “male way” of doing things.
Let me explain what I mean by that. (Because in my opinion, this holds the key to an authentic female spiritual practice, a practice that will bring you, as a woman, closer to living your joy and love in everyday life.)
Lately, I have become really interested in the theme of female and male essence.
For a long time, I thought that having equal rights and liberties in my marriage would make for a truly balanced and fair relationship with my man. I thought that if we both became more and more “the same” in terms of what our roles were, I would feel happy.
This didn’t turn out to be so.
Today I know that the reason I didn’t feel better and happier after creating a “fairer” marriage was the lack of sexual polarity between my man and me.
I am happiest when I am in my true feminine nature, my true sexual essence.
I had to learn that being in my true feminine essence didn’t mean that I was weaker, or had less power, just because I had a different role then my man.
I thought I only had power if I was making tons of money, had lots of influence, lots of freedom and was independent.
Turns out everything I had equated with having power are male qualities.
Most of us are looking at a “male model” of doing things and being in the world.
For some reason, it seems like you must adapt that model if you want to be successful as a woman.
And it doesn’t matter in which area of your life you want to be successful.
Be it your career, or your proximity to enlightenment.
It just seems like there is only one way, but if you take a closer look, you can see it is the way men propose to do things.
I hope you can see now what I meant when I spoke of following the “male way” of doing things.
I have realized lately that in order for me to find an authentic way of being spiritually “successful”, I have to stop looking at how the male teachers are attaining enlightenment and bliss.
I realized that we as women have an entirely different path to “success”, be it in our work or on our spiritual path.
(And I am putting success in quotation marks because the concept of success is in, and of itself, a very masculine concept. To me, success means: “attaining my heart’s fulfillment” in any area.)
While the male thrives on focus and stillness, the feminine thrives on connectedness and movement.
While a man’s way to finding God might be sitting by himself, hidden in a cave and meditating, a woman’s way is not. (Big newsflash here for me, and for you, too, I bet!)
What both genders have in common is a commitment; the commitment to being as conscious and awake as possible.
Here is where I do see us as women falling short, at least in this respect. We have been thinking that we must sit in a quiet room and be still. (After, of course, the family is all taken care of and nobody is in the house.) So the reality is, we often don’t get to it.
