No one ever said relationships were easy. If by chance you heard them say it, they are lying. It does take some degree of effort to maintain and nurture a relationship. However, one should remember that the maintenance is a two-way street. If you are the only one making the effort then that is a problem. I had a young lady tell me that a part of her wanted to leave her guy. After further discussion I understood why. She was the one always giving and rarely receiving. However, she found comfort in the relationship because she did not want to be alone. The fear of being alone is one of the most common reasons sane people make stupid decisions when it comes to relationships.
According to Dr. Vince Berger, therapist and mental health professional, “being alone and lonely, and even just the fear being alone, make many people insecure, anxious, and depressed” This fear can make you come across as being overly needy, and needy people tend to accept a lot of “mess” or “bull” in their relationships. It is understandable that we all need people in our life to some degree.
However, what I am addressing are those that accept negative or unfair circumstances in relationships out of fear of being alone. Now, this fear begins to control you to the point of insanity. What is insanity? As Albert Einstein, eloquently stated, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
So, why in the hell do you continue to make insane decisions when it comes to your relationships? Only you can answer that question. Don’t let your fear of being alone control you. Don’t start 2012 accepting mess in your life. Today is the day you take control and a find healthy balance in your relationships. Why? Because you’re Gods best and you deserve the best.
Good luck,
Shuntai Beuagard, Relationship Coach
